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[Paul Lismore] TIME FOR THE OPPOSITION PARTIES TO STOP THEIR SILLY WALK OUTS AND TO DEAL WITH THE BULLY IN A MORE INTELLIGENT MANNER


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Lundi 11 Mai 2020

" He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” –- Lao Tzu



" How was work today, Dad/Mum?", asked the child. " I walked out", replied the smug politician. " Again? Can I walk out of school tomorrow too?" " Don't be silly! That would be irresponsible", answers the smarmy parent...

The above fictitious conversation is in essence the reaction of most people when we see the all too predictable walk out of the opposition every time one of its members is ordered out by a one eyed bully in the Speaker's chair.

It is like watching a football match where one side does not like the decision of a bad referee and decides to walk out, thus handing victory to the opponent on a plate. Why do they keep doing it when they know exactly what to expect from the most useless, biased, uncouth, ill mannered, pig ignorant Speaker imaginable?

Do they expect a Lepep Kouyon to assemble en masse outside the National Assembly shouting " Pa tousse nou lopposition? Sa Speaker la nou pa le?" A Lepep Kouyon whose senses have been dulled by an obscene MBC and a useless and supine IBA that has yet to discover what the word "independent" really means and which apparently needs special tuition to understand the legislation that governs its own existence? Keep dreaming.

Yes, we all hate the Speaker, and 'hate' in this context is not an offensive or harsh word to express our disgust with the way the fat bully has conducted proceedings since day 1. A  lardy arse whose sense of humour is limited to saying " I am the only loudspeaker here" and expecting us to piss our pants with laughter?

Nobody could have imagined a situation where " Mille fois Maya" has become not only an expression of frustration but a fervent wish for anyone, including the once discredited Maya, to replace the idiot currently occupying what should always be a noble and independent chair. How low have we sunk when having an idiot wearing blinkers is considered the norm for appointments these days?

It is time for the opposition to show not only wisdom but also enlightenment, to quote Lao Tzu. Wisdom with the knowledge that they know they will always face a government plus one in the National Assembly and that you cannot inject good manners and a modicum of decency and fair play in a pig trudging in a trough...and the enlightenment to do something else apart from those boring, self defeating, and stupid walk outs. 

When you are faced with a bully, you do not walk out. You devise other means to show the bully that he is also a buffoon, and that his natural habitat should be a circus where he plays the fat idiot whose trousers keep falling down.

You have to be able to differentiate between the office of the Speaker, a noble one if its functions are carried out with the independence and fairness that the position demands, and the nincompoop currently sullying that chair. Walking out always gives the bully the impression that he has done a wonderful job and his master will give him a well deserved pat on the back for leaving the goal area clear for him to score at will.

What the opposition needs to do is quite simple really when the bully has ordered one of them out for no good reason:

1/ Go and shake the hands of the member who has been thrown out, to express your sympathy and your annoyance with the bully's dictatorial ruling.

2/ The evicted opposition member should reply to the zombie table thumpers on the government side by raising one leg and emitting a loud fart in their direction. I do not think this voluntary emission of Hydrogen sulphide is against the Standing orders...

3/ Once he has left, the leader of the opposition should ask the bully " What other names have you got on your list of evictees today?" As he is unlikely to understand what 'evictee' means, ask him "Who else will you order out today? Does your list contain any names from the government side?"

4/ When the buffoon replies in a manner that is quite unintelligible to common mortals, all the opposition must laugh loudly. There is of course the danger that the bully, being ostensibly quite stupid, will think that you are laughing because of his great sense of humour....

5/ Every time the Speaker opens his big mouth to remonstrate with any member of the opposition, you should all laugh or talk amongst yourselves. Even that thick skull will somehow allow the penetration of some awareness that he is a real buffoon, and that he is unfit for that office.

6/ When it gets too much and the Speaker is in full bias mode, get out your newspapers, magazines, porn magazines etc and start reading.

Of course, points 1-6 should not be taken too seriously, although seeing them in practice would be a lot more fun than watching the desecration of our parliament every time it sits. Perhaps the leader of the opposition, when he is not having wet dreams about having a cup of tea in the PMO in the naive belief that the PM gives a fuck about anything that he says, will ask the Speaker a simple question: " Mr Speaker, Sir, has anything bad ever happened to you on a Tuesday? Have you got an incurable phobia about Tuesdays? Because you seem to be dead scared of holding the usual Tuesday sittings. Or are you acting under orders so that your precious PM does not have to answer any questions about how he is running this country?"

What can the bully reply? " I order you out! Lipeat eet!" ? The damage would have been done in the full glare of the MBC cameras, and that delicious irony would be enough to compensate us for wasting our time watching a bunch of bozos behaving like recalcitrant kids in a school for numpties.

If anyone takes umbrage with this post, send your complaints to Fu Manchu at ICTA...He loves acting all important despite the empty baggage he lugs around.


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