[Paul Lismore] THE SAD STORY OF A DWARF CONVINCED HE IS A GIANT....

That is so far the sum total of the pathetic and weird excuses used by the little man who gives chihuahuas such a bad name.

To make matters worse, he is supposed to be a Senior Counsel, but if he tries to use such stupid arguments in court, I am sure the judge will find him in contempt of court and lock him up for a few days until he comes to his senses, and realises that really he is not as special as he loves to think he is.

Let us look at the facts and then decide whether Ivan is as clever as he thinks he is, or we are as stupid as he thinks we are:

1/ He appoints the members of the Board for the CEB, and yet no one tells him that there is a big fraud investigation by BAD and the Danish, et ki fesse pou dessirer biento?

What does that tell you if indeed it is true that the Board which he himself appointed has pissed on him from a great height by refusing to inform him of something that any minister with any dignity and competence would want to know? If it is true, then I have to say that his own Board views him with the same contempt that most people do.

2/ He appointed his chief toutou, Seety sipaki, as Chairman of the Board, not once but twice in the last 5 years.

Even when the ti toutou failed to bark convincingly enough at the last elections in order to get elected, Ivan wrapped his dog collar and chain around the ti toutou's neck and brought him back to chair the CEB board. And despite all of that, the chief toutou again failed to inform his master that blier kk lisien lezot lisien, BAD pou largue ene gro kk lor nou la tete biento!" Again, this tells you that the dwarf who believes he is a giant remains the dwarf that he has always been....

3/ The Board appointed by Ivan selected the CEO who again decided to piss on his chief benefactor from a big height by not telling the minister about the impending shit storm.  

4/ The dwarf's own mistress knew about all this, and failed to tell lover boy, even during some horizontal jogging and the sweet nothings that people like to say in those positions, that " Ekut moi, mo cheri chihuahua! Pou ena mari bez la! Sa ban Afrikains et Danois la pou kk lor nou la tete biento! Hmmmm, sa bon, mo ti toutou! To pou manz la moelle ou lezo tanto?"

Now, if 1-4 is correct and you believe such a quite incredibly stupid turn of affairs, then you are really dumb...and therefore eminently qualified to become a ministerial adviser...

But if you have some basic common sense, logic must tell you that the dwarf knew all about it, but being the clever chap that he thinks he really is (Mo ene Senior Counsel, moi! Pa badine ar moi!"...), he probably thought with a condescending sneer:

" ene ferfoute zot pa pou kapav fer ! Sa ban Afrikins la meme plis koronpi ki nou Morisiens! Nou ena ICAC, nou, et moi meme ki ti responsab pou drafter sa zoli Prevention of Corruption Act, ki montrer ki pa ena oken Korription a Maurice! Zis anti patriotes ki dire ki nou kokin!".

But because he is so clever, logic tells you that he would have told Mr Evidaman et Bien sire about the impending shit storm, if only to drape his little back with the prelart that he would need when the shit starts flying. After all, the general elections were not that far away, and if Lepep Kouyon knew about the thieves at the CEB, not even Dulthaidiot and his katori, and electoral fraud would have saved them from a certain defeat.

It is therefore not beyond the realm of possibility that it is more than likely that the two idiots savants at the head of the government knew all about it, but decided to keep quiet because of the forthcoming elections. Nothing else could possibly explain their silence over something that reaches right into the heart of the government.

So, what happens now?

I believe that Pravind Jugnauth will have no choice but to either sack the chihuahua or ask him to resign, on the grounds that he should have informed the PM or the cabinet about BAD and the Danish firm's investigations. It is the only way PJ can save himself from sinking further into the cesspool of shit he finds himself in.

What can Ivan do? Either go quietly whilst protesting his innocence (they all do that, with their Je suis serein nonsense and zis Bon Dier koner ki mo inosan claptrap...)...or bark helplessly and protest that he did tell the PM and that they agreed to keep it quiet.

Pravind Jugnauth can then say " Zamai li ti dire moi! Kifer aster ki li p dire sa? My government will fight corruption absolutely! Mo la main prop! Pa moi ki en sarz CEB et so Board et so CEO! C li!"

Ivan will continue to do then what he thinks he does best: Look into the eyes of some gullible and ambitious woman and watch the juices flow as she remains captivated by the eyes and charm of our local chihuahua.

But the sirens of the ICAC cars might disrupt his horizontal jogging as they come for him in order to protect the chief dog in the kennel....