Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] Pou bann ki mort pou ene "like", ala seki zot bizin fer

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Mercredi 26 Octobre 2022

[Paul Lismore] Pou bann ki mort pou ene "like", ala seki zot bizin fer
1/ Si ou ene fam, fer selfies as much as possible. Tou les zours si possib. Looks don't matter, just plaster your face online, and there are enough desperate men who will 'like' it, and thereby claim the "gran Galan" status they crave. 

But be careful! Many will "like" and ask you to "inbox", whatever that is. It may be a subtle message for you to let them inspect your box...

2/ (a) Si ou ene zom, nek met Man U mari Liverpool ou Liverpool mari Man U. There are enough idiots out there who will 'like' it because, rather incredibly, they see in you a kindred soul..A football version of nou bann, if you like..

(b) Or, al diboute divan ene loto sports ki koute bien cher (mai ki souvan pa pou toi sa), et tire ene selfie. En place, ban wannabes et snobs pou 'like' et comment et dimane toi si pou toi sa. Morisiens expert lor koz menti, alor dire " B oui ta!", as if to emphasise the point that you are the owner....

(c) Manz ene McDonalds ou Kentucky, et fer sire ki logo sa burger/poule la paret bien dan selfie. For some unknown reason, Mauritians really believe that those examples of cardboard "food" are the absolute top in terms of culinary delights. So, plenty of "like" here, too... 

(d) If you are really desperate and want a "like" by any means possible, go for a Nandos and hit us with a selfie...But you have to be really desperate to go for a Nando, as Berenger is finding out...

(e) Kokin bann video tiktok, après met sa dan bann fb groups kuma memes Mauritius. Kumsa mem ki enn ta vidéo p vinn viral

3/ La creme de la creme: Everyday, something called publishes the type of story that is the real stuff of Bollywood: Something made up which shows how in this cruel world, we have some individuals with real hearts of gold, bla bla bla. For example, if someone's car is broken down (preferably a "helpless woman"), a recovering drug addict or a man with only one hand will quickly repair the car...and when the woman offers some money for the kind gesture, the addict or any poor man who helped will refuse and say the immortal words , " Non merci! Mo p rann ou ene service!"...This is obviously not the sort of comment that any of our ministers will say when they are stealing our money.

4/ Plaster your Facebook page with memes copied from elsewhere. Now, some memes are excellent, but the vast majority falls in the category of " Mo rier ou mo pa rier?"

5/ If all else fails, do what weird people always do: Before eating, don't forget to photograph the food, especially if you did not cook it and had bought it ready cooked. That is always a popular one and will guarantee you loads of "like", and comments like " Miam! Miam! To ene mari bon chef!" Even a pic of a Mine Apollo with a ti satini pom damour will get people very excited, and they will tell you how when they were 5 years old, they used to love it, and every time they feel homesick now if they are abroad, the 4 minute meal always makes them feel good...Don't laugh! Many Mauritians do fall for that sort of emotional claptrap! 

6/ But if you are a chatwa with no dignity at all and you hope that a selfie with ti cretin will boost your popularity, sorry. I am afraid you will get only a few "like" for this one, and a huge amount of zoure and insults. Which, after all, is the most appropriate treatment for an arse licking idiot like you.

Mercredi 26 Octobre 2022

Nouveau commentaire :

Règles communautaires

Nous rappelons qu’aucun commentaire profane, raciste, sexiste, homophobe, obscène, relatif à l’intolérance religieuse, à la haine ou comportant des propos incendiaires ne sera toléré. Le droit à la liberté d’expression est important, mais il doit être exercé dans les limites légales de la discussion. Tout commentaire qui ne respecte pas ces critères sera supprimé sans préavis.