Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] Paradise island, where your blind date is organised by Jagutpal, the special agwa...

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Samedi 7 Août 2021

"People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates - hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar."--- Sarah Jessica Parker.

Feeling lonely but rather hot? Sweating with a tingling sensation in your extremities? Can't smell or taste anything? Short of breath, feeling nervous about what is going to happen next? Lost your appetite and you have a sore throat? These are not the symptoms of your nerves playing up before going on a first date. And you should not worry, because you have really hit a double jackpot!

They are the first symptoms of Covid 19, and the good doctor Jagutpal will arrange free accommodation for you in a hotel, and, if you are lucky, will even find a stranger to share your bed with you! Sa zom!

All your teenage fantasies of being whisked away to a nice hotel, feeling hot, sweaty, and passionate, will now become reality. And all for free! Just imagine! Forget all that courtship lark, fer ene ti galan, met zoli linz/makeup/parfum etc! You and your new room partner would have lost your sense of smell anyway, so the pair of socks your roommate has been wearing for the last 5 days won't bother you at all...And if you both believe in "recycling" your underwear, i.e. turn them inside out and wear them again because you are too lazy to walk to the washing machine, Yippee! Your new friend provided by Jagutpal will think, "How quaint that he/she shares my opinion about personal hygiene too! This is a match made in heaven! Thank you, Jagutpal!"

Yes, Mauritius, our Paradise Island, where dreams of meeting someone on a blind date become reality, courtesy of a virus...Pa Jagutpal, do! Covid 19 virus!

To make things even more romantic, this arrangement takes place at night only..." Le ministre a ainsi confirmé qu'à l'île Maurice, les employés d’une même société mis en quarantaine, peuvent partager la même chambre et surtout...le même lit faute de disponibilité....le ministre de la Santé a confirmé que tel est le cas quand des personnes arrivent la nuit dans un hôtel converti en centre de quarantaine en attendant qu’il y ait de la place. "

Just imagine how the starry night and the whooshing sound of the gentle waves washing the coastline will make you see the stranger posing as your new roommate as a Hollywood film star....But I am afraid this fantasy will be very short lived when you realise that your new roommate is either Sooroojdeo Phokeer, armed with a few gallons of Goodwill, or Bobok Hureeram, armed with that face that is the stuff of nightmares...

So, thank you, Jagutpal! You really are a star! Not only are you, in your opinion, the most intelligent doctor in the world, (or dan du mon as you would say), but also the most charismatic, sexiest individual around (in your opinion again...), even though your head looks like a penis.

So, Jagutpal, from national dickhead to now Agwa on behalf of the nation, because of that virus! Thank you! You are a real patriot, always thinking of us..

Samedi 7 Août 2021

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