Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] Ooh Pravine! We love it when you talk dirty and you tell us that " dan prosenn 5 ans, nou pou FER enkor!"

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Vendredi 13 Septembre 2019

I believe there is a huge conspiracy at the heart of this government, designed to stop me from writing seriously about any topic ; they have ordered their clowns to utter so many things loaded with sexual innuendos that we just cannot wait for the next 'bijou' of absolute nonsense from them.

For a whole week now, they have been saying things that subliminally awaken our dormant desire to have anything to do with them, let alone have any intimacy with these ugly, good for nothing bastards. And they have succeeded!

We have had ministre diluil coco reminding us that even brainless twats can fuck and have children; we then saw Brylcreem Boy showing us his principes and his sincerity, and we swooned with anticipation at the delights to come...Yesterday, to cap it all, Pravine told us ki li envi fer ar nou pou 5 ans enkor! B kot nou p aller dan sa ggt pays la?

I was going to write on Roches Noires today, but then I thought I have already been telling you on numerous occasions since 2015 that there is simply no case against Navin Ramgoolam, for 2 reasons:

1/ the absolutely mediocre evidence provided by the CCID under the then leadership of Jangi (now our Deputy Commissioner of police, for fuck sake!), where many obvious elements had been ignored/overlooked by the idiots in that department

2/ When you put our most notorious fraudster, liar, and thief Rakesh Gooljaury as the main prosecution witness, who is going to believe anything that he says?

Assuming that today, E.T. does not make a speech about his big cucumber, I will write tomorrow about the fact that 11 court cases against Navin Ramgoolam have so far been thrown out, and the 'money laundering' one does not look as clear cut as at first thought...but that's for tomorrow. Today, let us have some wet dreams about PJ's desire to 'fer enkor' with us for the next five years....

The man wastes no time in whetting our appetite. Oh no, he plunges straight in right from the beginning, as if he does not believe in foreplay and all that kissing and slobbering and pez pezer like many people do with tomatoes in our markets...First he tells us some sweet nothings, " Mo la depi selman 2 1/2 ans kom PM..Dan 2 1/2 ans, sa kantite ki nou in fer la". Oh Pravine, you smooth talker! Yes, to in bien fer ar nou, et nou p sointer sitan sa in fer di mal. But he promises of more days and nights of unbridled passion and lust: " Mo koir zot kapav imaziner dan prosenn 5 ans, ki kantite nou pou fer enkor!"

The man is so used to fucking us that " li tre confian ki avek zot cou de main...", for those days when we don't feel like any jig jig and a hand job will suffice...But he wants us to 'kontinier travay ensam", i.e. don't just lie there and think of your next mine frire! Bouzer! Tester ressor sa ggt matela la! He then promises us that 'moi mo la popu ameliore la vie tou dimounes", in other words, I aim to please all of you, join the queue and bring your own KY jelly if you want to...

And he reminds us that 'mo p sensibiliz zot, nou bizin fer ene aktivite fizik!", which loosely translated means, zot bien koner mo envi fer horizontal jogging avek zot tou, pou mo donne zot sa special Jus de Jug la...

And to bring us to the point of no return, where "yes, yes, yes mo ti cretin, to meme pli bon" comes out involuntarily from our mouths, he dangles the carrot of firmness and sans pitie with all the sincerity that he does not possess.

In a ludicrous attempt to be the police, the DPP, the magistrates, and the judges all at once, he tells us, in between deep thrusts, that " sa ban marsan de la mort la, mo pou met zot derriere baro sa. Ene derriere lot zot pou aller; ene derriere lot". Note the liberal use of the word 'derriere' and you know he is telling you that sometimes the back door can be just as enjoyable as dangling your keys in front of your front door...You see how years spent in la cuisine has taught him some new, delightful tricks?

When he says, "mo le nettoyer, mo le met prop partou", isn't this an invitation for oral sex? Can't you feel his tongue everywhere and that little face going 'Miam Miam' and asking politely when near the golden triangle, and feeling rather bemused with all that moisture: " Mo la krasse sa, oussa to in pisser?" And you forgive the naive little sod who is still growing up but still needs so many bad boys to hold his hand....

I will write about more serious matters tomorrow....unless tonight, the Ayatollah Mouftah makes a speech that our zourlanus will then vomit for us in their 'newspapers' and tells us: " Ou koner, kan sa soley la tap fort dan desert Saudi Arabia, sa ban chameau la paret extra zoli. Trou chameau la, vreman ene lot zafer sa, ene mirak de la nature...Mo fer serman, vrai sa!"

Vendredi 13 Septembre 2019

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