Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] Mo nom Brylcreem Boy et sitan mo zoli et intelizan ki ena Nandos partou dan le monde...

Jeudi 12 Septembre 2019

Hic! Mo nom Brylcreem Boy et sitan mo zoli et intelizan ki ena Nandos partou dan le monde aster parski zot tou envi manz moi! Et mo sincere et mo ena principes! Hic!


Oui, je m'apelle Nando...mo dire sa, parski zot gagne bon tan moi koz le francois, non? And ze young ladies look at my ruffled hair, my vagabond looks, that mouth that promises so many delights, and they all scream, some with their panties in the air:

" Oui, Nando! Je te veux! To meme pli zoli! Please pa met Brylcreem zis lor la tete, met li partou lor sa lekor Adonis la, et nou fer la terre trenbler avek nou passions...Oh Nando, mo ti Nandoodoo! Viens!".

You see Nando? Our legs shake with anticipation, especially when you make your lies sound so credible that they come out like pearls of wisdom...pearls that we would like to see as beads of sweat on that sweet, hairy chest of yours when you are trying to penetrate us with words of 'honesty' and full of 'principes'. Oh the stamina of the man!

The non stop thrusts and heavy breathing punctuating each lie as he gets deeper with more fabrications and more distortions....The man is a creative genius! So many gymnastics, so much subterfuge, that we wonder what new position he will try with us next...Ooooh Nandoooo Sutra!

He really knows how to talk dirty and to open our floodgates, doesn't he? Is he thinking of opening a launderette soon to wash and rinse and dry all our wet sheets from so many sweet nothings and honeyed words? Is he anticipating a drought, and he thinks that our excitement with his words will stir us into such great ecstasy that Mare Aux Vacoas could be filled up simply by the use of his words on us gorgeous people? Admit it, the man is a one off, really...

Although some cruel tongues will say yes, he is a one off because there is no bigger, lying cunt than him! Mai pa tousse nou Brylcreem Boy! Nou zoli garcon sa! Especially with the Kohl so lovingly painted around those mesmerising eyes, and put there especially for us!

What brought us to a pitch of ecstasy that we have never experienced before were his words yesterday: " «VOUS DEVEZ NOUS JUGER PAR NOTRE HONNÊTETÉ ET NOS PRINCIPES »"

Yes, Nando, many have tried to get into our knickers and our lamoresses using crap lines and meaningless, stereotyped nonsense, like " I love you...I have never felt so much love for anyone else...You are the only one.."...but those words of yours yesterday really hit the spot! Do you know why the streets were empty yesterday evening? Was it because of the terrible level of crime everywhere on the island? Oh no! Last night, as soon as we heard you telling us about your sincerity and your principles, we could hardly walk to the bathroom for a cold shower to get rid of the sweats of passion and lust we felt for you when you said them....We kept imagining you saying " sincere" and "principes' over and over again when we were lathering ourselves with soap...

So, thanks Brylcreem Boy Baby. You really are the one for us! We will forget all that nonsense about the incredible level of corruption since 2014, the huge amount of nepotism, the obscure contracts that have produced so many commissions, our institutions "ki nou bizin respekter" (that one opens the floodgates of passion too...), la cuisine and the aphrodisiacs being concocted there for all our benefit, or as you like to tell us in tender, passionate moments, "dans l'interet superieur du peuple"; we will even forget the carnage on our roads, and the moto ecole where some nasty people said that some sincere people with principes have stolen a lot of our money, the Bois de Rose, and the chopping down of all those trees that prevented the hot summer sun from turning us into lovely, brown toasts. We will forget about all of that, and much more.

Why? Because we want you Nando to be on our TV every night for the next five years...

So many marriages have been saved because people become very passionate when they see you telling us how sincere you are and about your principes, and that passion leads to mutual physical and very intimate exercises for couples going through some marital difficulties. We will soon be asking that the next Marriage Guidance office should bear your name, together with a huge photo of you, so that warring couples will immediately rediscover the love they have lost as soon as they walk in and gaze in admiration at your photo....Of course, we will ignore the passion of the very many who smash their TV sets every time they see your face and that of your friends on TV every night, but we will ignore them! Ban anti patriotes sa!

Yes, Nando baby. Tell us about your sincerite and your principes. Remember, a Lepep Kouyon might still be that kouyon and believe your unadulterated bullshit, and vote for you again! But who cares! You are our Nando, and you are the one reason why we change our knickers and lamoresse at least once every day. Because of the effect you have on us, every time you tell us those sweet little lies.

At your nearest Nandos soon! " Nando special with a Caca Chanel No 5 with every meal!" To try to get rid of the shitty smell of his lies.

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Jeudi 12 Septembre 2019

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