[Paul Lismore] Message from Anil Kumar Dipshit to the Mauritian Police Force...

Dear minions,

After a few months as your Supreme Leader, I have come to realise that " when in police uniform, my face and behaviour as police commissioner attract unpleasant/negative comments from members of the public, which ultimately project a bad image of the police force."** Therefore, as a responsible police commissioner, I will take disciplinary action against myself, and remove myself from office once I have spoken with the real Supreme Leader of the MPF, Pravind Kumar Jugnauth, and ironed out all the juicy entitlements, privileges, etc that will be included in my pension....

I feel very disappointed with myself that after the terrible damage caused to the MPF by ex Commissioners Marionette and Servandersing, I have come to realise that I too have been a terrible disappointment to you and to the population. 

Let me reassure you that the 2 months I have given you to remove those unsightly tattoos will be supervised by me personally. As you know, removing tattoos from your pathetic bodies is far, far more important than getting the police to deal with the terrible crime wave that has now reached every part of our island...

I am confident that once you have removed all those tattoos, Mauritius will become a lovely place again, with no crime whatsoever, and where people will greet each other with little tchoumas on the cheeks to express their friendship..

This link between tattoos and the terrible crime rate was reached over a bottle of Goodwill when I was drowning my sorrows, and having my knees massaged after kneeling down so often in the PMO...
Vive la force policiere de lile Moriste! Vive moi, le plus grand commissaire de police de lile Moriste!
Mr AK Dipshit.

** Taken from the "Tattoo" communique which stated that " « when in police uniform, such tattoos attract unpleasant/negative comments from members of public which ultimately project a bad image of the police force »