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Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] MY NAME IS KEN ARIANUS


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Mardi 10 Août 2021



I used to be an air hostess
And my Sex on the beach cocktail
Used to make ti cretin's anus
Squirm with delight.
So much so that he whipped my air hostess uniform off
And made me his "Special Advisor",
So that any thought that bubbles out of my anus
Is immediately put into action by the ti cretin....

You see, the world is full of anuses
Who want to provide shitty recipes to la cuisine.
But I have to make sure that Ken Arianus
Remains the number one anus
That is closest to ti cretin's ears...
I want the ti cretin to smell, breathe, and listen to the sounds
Of the one and only Ken Arianus...

No one else's anus!
You must believe me when I tell you I have a special anus.
Ask yourselves this simple question:
How else can a simple air hostess like me  
Act like the owner of not just Plaisance Airport, 
But of the whole island also,
If Ken Arianus was just a simple, ordinary Anus?

How else can a simple air hostess like me
Act and behave as if pays la entier pou mari morma sa?
And issue threats against an unnamed leader of an opposition party?
How else can a simple air hostess
Make sure that my friend, aka my twin anus,
Nilen Sipakisamy, become the numero uno 
Of our tourism industry, when we all know
That even mirrors are scared to death whenever that face appears?

When my twin anus Nilen
Gave away Rs 400 millions to Liverpool FC,
You should be proud that a super rich nation
Like Mauritius could help a poor English football club!

Unfortunately, we have a Lepep Admirab/bien Kouyon...
If only we had a Lepep Anus,
Full of anuses like me and my twin anus Nilen,
This country would have gone very far!
(So far that we would have disappeared off the map
And sunk below the oceans with such huge debts...)

I am Ken Arianus,
The number one anus on the island,
So, when I say that I will
"m'occuper de lui et de son parti",
Please don't be alarmed!
I will do the only thing that I excel in doing:
I will use my anus and shit on him now and again....

Mauritians really do love me, my twin anus, and the other anuses.
You only have to look at our posts on Facebook,  
And the number of 'like' that Lepep Anus gives us.
If I write, " My anus is fine
Mo fek largue ene gro kk la"

I bet you I will get at least 1000 likes!
And if Nilen writes, " Mo fek tire ene gro kk nene"
Lepep Anus will like and love it many hundreds of times...

That is why, my dear patriots,
The greatest success of Arianus, Nilen the anus, and 
All the other anuses crudely described as "chatwas",
Is the fact that we have turned so many of Lepep Admirab
Into a lepep of anuses and real arseholes..

Mardi 10 Août 2021

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