Paul Lismore


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Samedi 31 Août 2019

Dear Mr Rawat,

As Lepep Kouyon loves to say, " kot nou p aller dan sa pays la!" , "Ki p ariver?", "ki zistoire sa?", or, as I prefer to say it because the phrase is clear, direct, and uambiguous, " Ki ggtri sa?".

How come you have been lying to me, but worse, to the great Mauritian public who now has to rely on Insane News and its very patriotic trolls to tell us the truth? Thank God for people like Sherry Darling, who is such a generous and kind man that he loves giving a lot of our money at MT to the really desperate causes, like financing Insane News and manufacturing as many stupid and very illiterate trolls as possible! Learn from true role models like him, Dawood Rawat, and one day you too could become as trustworthy, clean, wise, full of integrity, and incredibly pretty like him.

Only fools and anti patriotes will make nasty comments about how in the Tekwa Gonfle competition, Sherry darling comes second to the real Tekwa face, Devil Manraj. Every one knows that Sherry's Tekwa is far more puffed up, esp with Lady Macbeth's wind at his backside...

But let me get to the nitty gritty now, Dawood Rawat: Where is my fucking money?

"Kot mo pitaye?" "Kot nou p aller dan sa pays la?" You see, if you had paid me, I could have bought lots of Sat-Navs to distribute to the poor directionless souls who keep asking " kot nou p aller dan sa pays la?" It is just not nice when you see them walking aimlessly into lamp posts, or in one of the many potholes on our roads, and still yelling, "kot nou p aller dan sa pays la!" I will have to talk to Sherry darling and tell him 'ki ggtri sa?", as that is the sort of language that people with Tekwa faces really understand...

But worse, far worse than this, why did you hide the fact that Subash Gobine was being paid by you to be Paul Lismore, and who nevertheless, like the 'free and independent' press in toto, has yet to write a weighty, objective, and meaningful article on BAI? And someone called Javed Bolah, whose name I have mentioned a few times for being conspicuously silent when the cyclone was at its most intense during 2015-2017,despite being for many years the PR top chap at BAI, but who seems to have regained his voice during the last year? Ki ggtri sa?

I have thought about the whole BAI issue and I have come to this conclusion:

Thank God for clean, modest, honourable politicians like the Jugs! Such a wonderful family which is always on the look out for desperate, quite empty souls hoping for some crumbs from their massive dining table; a wonderful family with a marvellous kitchen run by a fragrant Lady Macbeth who works so hard for our country that not even all the perfume in Arabia can remove the stench of having to deal with unprincipled, moronic individuals all the time.

Thank God Sherry darling is there to massage those stained fingers, and a curse on those who say that those fingers will anyway end up in the masseur's arse! Only dirty, filthy, anti patriotes would say things like that!

You see, the Jugs have become billionaires, far richer than you were in your prime, not through hard work by running industry, companies, etc. With them, if you are stupid and you show any disloyalty to the only cause that matters to them, which is to bring more wealth to that wonderful family, zot pou koup le doi! Ar zot, pena kata Kata! Whereas you, Dawood Rawat, you tolerated a large number of idiots and instead of sacking them, you promoted so many of them! So, be grateful for the fact that the Jugs are a much better role model for our Lepep Admirab these days than you and your 'Jai de' mentality towards disloyal bastards...

You need to understand this quite simple thing:

How could the Jugs leave you alone when they could see that your hard work was putting them in a bad light, because although we can see how you made your fortune from hard work, no one knows how the Jugs have amassed so many billions of rupees? The Jugs have shown that Jai de can never be a substitute for the real jadoo of making billions of rupees, simply because God, the really filthy rich, and the mafia loves them!

I, for one, am deeply grateful to the trolls of Sherry darling and to Gorgeous Rude Boy and his little toy boy Coonooksamy, for giving the world the answer to the most important question for real arseholes: Who is Paul Lismore?

Never mind that we are up to our neck in debts! Ignore the fact that instead of kass le rein mafia la drog, we look with horror at the devastation of our society by drug dealers being hugely protected by politicians and a corrupt police force!

Treat with contempt any info that we have never experienced the level of corruption, theft, nepotism, corrupt contrats whether en beton or 'confidential' since December 2014! Never mind that many elderly parents are being battered by their kids, something we had never heard of before 2014, or the huge level of domestic violence! Ignore all of that, as these things do not matter! Apparently, the only thing that matters is the answer to the question, " Who is Paul Lismore?"

So, Dawood Rawat, Kot mo pitaye? If you can't send me the money directly, please send it via cheque to Insane News, where those terribly honest individuals will I am sure get one of their hundreds of trolls to pass it on to me...

And if you don't, let me warn you that I will send a little dwarf to get you! The great patriot Gulbul will bite your ankles if you don't send the money, ok? Ar nou, pena kata kata!

p.s. A reminder to Lepep Kouyon that they need to brush up on the words "satire' and 'irony' before reading the above...A healthy does of sarcasm would help too..

Samedi 31 Août 2019

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