Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] 2022 starts with a laugh...

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Samedi 1 Janvier 2022

1/ 3 contrakters met prix pou ene miray kot lassenblee national: ene firm Europeen, ene firm Singapore, et ene firm ki sorti depi la cuisine.

European dire: Mo kapav fer sa pou Rs 100,000. Materio pou coute Rs 40,000, main dev pou coute, Rs 40,000, et mo profit Rs 20,000.
Singaporean dire: Mo prix, c Rs 80,000. Rs 30,000 materio, Main dev Rs 30,000, et Rs 20,000 profits pou moi.
La cuisine souffler dan zorey Procurement Board et dire: Mo fer sa pou Rs 2 millions.
Procurement Board dire, "ein? kouma to ariv sa chiffre la?"
La cuisine dire douceman: Rs 1 million pou moi, Rs 920,000 pou toi, et nou enploy Singaporeen la pou ranz miray la pou Rs 80,000. Li Bon, li pa bon?
Procurement dire: Bien bon, mo gran patriote!

2/ Ene voleur met ene revolver dan le do ene ministre Morisien et dire: Donne moi to larzan!
    Ministre Morisien dire: Eoula! to koner moi kisanla? Mo ene ministre!
    Voleur la dire: Dan sa ka la, donne moi mo larzan!

3/ When women wear a bikini, they expose 90% of their bodies.
    Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts...

4/  Please, don't steal, don’t lie, and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.

5/ Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Pravind Value Meal?
     A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

6/ A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.

" The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his nappy. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

7/  What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
     Answer: another generation of corrupt and crooked lawyer politicians...

8/ A man was sitting in his car during a traffic jam when a cop knocked on his window. He rolled down the window and asked the officer: “why is there such a traffic jam?”

Officer: “Some terrorists have kidnapped a few politicians and are blocking the road. They have threatened to burn the politicians alive in 1000 litres of petrol if they don’t get a million rupees ransom within the hour. I’m going from car to car collecting donations and would like to know if you’d please help.
Man: ‘Ok. How much are other people giving?”
Officer: “On average, about 5 litres.”

That's enough for a Saat Samundar addled brain. Happy New Year!

Samedi 1 Janvier 2022

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