Paul Lismore

WHEN SOME LAWYERS FEEL THAT THEIR PRIMORDIAL DUTY IS TO MAKE THEIR CLIENTS CUM LAUDE...OH YES BABY! THAT BRIEF IS SO STIMULATING!

Jeudi 12 Juillet 2018

IoN News gave us a little titillating bone to chew on late last night with this very small article. But we are not here to discuss size, as many of our zavokas seem to find the small things in life to be quite enjoyable. To them, size only comes into consideration when they hit you with their fees and then tell you, I bet that one will not touch the sides and you will feel it for a long time...


WHEN SOME LAWYERS FEEL THAT THEIR PRIMORDIAL DUTY IS TO MAKE THEIR CLIENTS CUM LAUDE...OH YES BABY! THAT BRIEF IS SO STIMULATING!
Anyway, the article said :

" Un avocat du Parquet et sa moitié, qui exerce dans le privé, sont sous le coup d’une enquête de l’Independent Commission against Corruption (ICAC)."

Having understood that moitie must be a word used by some people to describe the wife in the same way that a portion of bread is described, I decided to find out which dossiers will now keep the chuttur ka mou (another zavoka, of course..) in charge of ICAC occupied for several years before nothing happens, as usual.

As soon as I got the name of the zavoka with a brief to keep her clients happy and relieved, I was afflicted with non stop sneezing and went  "Atishoo! "Atisha!", "Eh Ram"! for several minutes. 

You must surely recall the WhatsApp conversations that were disclosed during the Drugs Commission inquiry where a little man was often on horizontal missions to La Reunion, and was messaging his zavoka lover/mistress that he has brought all the necessary accoutrements required for some pleasurable sessions of frotte frotter?

And how the lover/mistress soon gave up on the poison dwarf (or vice versa, but who cares really?), which then led , according to Lady Bountiful zavoka, to a terrible bout of jealousy from the little man, turning him into a Green Dwarf...like the counterpart to the Green Giant in the adverts for sweet corn.

Unfortunately, many of our zavokas have yet to understand this simple joke:

" Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer."


Many of these people really believe that their shit smells nice and that any case of hardship or injustice is the passport to make some easy dosh...same as any serious criminal is, to many of them, really a bank manager who is happy to open his safe for the pleasure of the zavoka.

Anyway, I do not know whether it is a jealous poison dwarf who has dumped Lady Bountiful and her new husband in the shit. I rather suspect that it is instead one of those wonderful law abiding and ever so gentle and well mannered clients of hers who has wielded the knife, no doubt in return for a kindly smile from the authorities.

The clients who used to hold a brief, as it were, for Lady Bountiful, and according to her on the instructions of the poison dwarf, are Sada Curpen and Veeren Peroumal, and a few others. This has led to cruel talk about her loving her ounde very much and I refuse to join the lynch mob!
I much prefer gato piman of the old days, with a neat little hole in the centre..

We have heard of Mauriwood where many people want to become film stars.

My advice to them is this:

if you want to see genuine acting and dancing of a much classier variety than Bollywood, see if you can ask a friendly, big time drugs dealer to let you have a look at the dancing videos that a zavoka used to send via WhatsApp to her clients in prison, and how her devotion to duty and her professional sense of ethics made her show her qualifications in full and from every possible angle...just in case the clients had any doubts about the firmness of her embonpoint, she always ensured that her bottom line had to involve a substantial deposit (in her bank account, you naughty people!) following each film show.

No wonder the dry cleaning departments of our prisons were having great difficulties in removing all those stains from the bed sheets...I am told that some prisoners were thinking of making candles out of these activities, but only a gullible zavoka would believe this.

To end on a serious note, our wise people in our etat de droit seem to find it impossible to know what a conflict of interest is.

Here is a scenario that used to happen quite often and which the men and women in black were all aware of: Lover boy from the DPP's office (now husband) and Lady Bountiful (now the wife) used to appear in court together re bail applications for her clients...What do you think were the chances of the clients (rich drugs dealers mostly) getting a good result?

That, my friends, is the story of The Shaker from the DPP's office and the Vamp from behind those walls who was omnipresent either in person or via videos. BOY! Enough to make you wish that ROOney was still playing for England, if you get my meaning...

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Jeudi 12 Juillet 2018

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