[Paul Lismore] ZE MAPEL ZAID....

Zis is me, ur deputy Orateur,
I spik ze Ingliss like no one else can
Bad piple say it eez Ingliss Potiss.
But gud piple know zat beautiful zassar is made in 
Potiss, especially with ze Sun shining on it...

U know, I luv the Sun, and not just for ze Page 3 girls wiv ze big boobies
Ze sun eez ze symbol of my party
And when it shines too much on ze head.
I like to interrupt ze bad piple on my right
When ze insult ze Sun God and iz servants.

I am so clever that I know how to interrupt zem.
I pretend to be very silly, which eez very easy for me,
And I ask zem all sorts of questions
with a dumb expression to fool zem zat I am being helpful.
U see? Very clever, ein?

I even ad zat Berenger, did you see? Haha!
I asked ze old fox, when was zis said?
I told him for ze record I need to know,
Even zo everyone knows that everything eez recorded
In our September, sorry August Assembly.

I interrupted him so much that
When I asked him to continue with ze speech,
The cheeky man told me " I will start until you interrupt me again!"
Haha! Zat was good! I took his advice
And interrupted him again! Haha! Ar moi, non!

I did ze same wiv all the speakers on ze opposition.
It was such good fun, watching zem get all frustrated 
And not knowing how to continue after I kept interrupting zem..

I will not be in tiambers next week
Bekoz I need to see an ENT specialist 
To treat my left ear and left eye,
Bekoz however hard I try, my neck eez stuck in only
Ze position where I can see and hear only on my right side.
Darling Maya had zat problem too, as doz the tapeur Orator.
Perhaps we need to get anozer Orator's chair....

Yesterday, someone called someone else a 'Guignol'.
Zat was most unfair, bekoz I do not know what guignol is.
Why can't they use words like "Gopia", "la guele fesse", " to kouma ene lougarou", etc?

Zen I could say wiv all ze authority at my command,
"Please, Honourable member, please, please, please, do me a favour bekoz I love you 
And I am so nice, Wizdraw that word bekoz it is parliamentary"...
BTW, what is a guignol? 
Do ze grow on trees like Koronsol?

Let me tell you: I do not need zis job!
I can easily become an Engliss language teacher
Bekoz I can see zat even zoz highly educated ones in the tiamber
Cannot understand ze advanced Ingliss zat I use.

U had Sexpire last time with Ze Rutnah
Now u av someone who speaks real Ingliss Potiss
When I say "Plij" instead of please,
It is because ze mouth feels like zer is a gato piman so so in it....
Vive les Zassar dan potiss! Vive les guignols!