[Paul Lismore] WHEN OUR ZOURLANUS USE MUSIC IN A PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO BUILD EXCITEMENT FOR THE ARREST OF THE TERRIBLY VIOLENT CRIMINALS KNOWN AS....'TRAVAILLEURS AU NOIR".

I have never been able to understand a complaint often voiced by lepep admirab: " Pa ena asser lamizman dan Maurice!" .

My dear citizens, if only you would just look around you! The amount of free entertainment on offer is really quite incredible, and if we could bottle it and turn it into a 'hub', we will become a very rich country indeed....from the daily, pointless propaganda from that thing called the MBC transmitting seemingly from a cave in North Korea to the sanctimonious nonsense peddled by our politicians and zourlanus on a daily basis...from the tedious homilies of the Ayatollah trying desperately hard to give the impression that out of the billions of people on Mother Earth, God has somehow chosen him to pontificate about human values; to the uncultured individuals in the Voice of this, that, or the other who end up turning agnostics into confirmed atheists simply because no rational human being could possibly believe that any God would have chosen inarticulate, violent buffoons to pass on His message to us.

I read the account in all our papers today about the dawn arrest of 45 'travailleurs au noir". All the papers gave a fairly factual account of what happened, with video films of about 2 mins showing the hapless illegal workers being woken up rather unceremoniously and taken to police stations.

I dare say there will not be any outcry from the usual Human Rights lobby, because eh, pa Mauriciens sa! But IoN News decided to turn it into a 'suspense' mini movie of 9 minutes, with a soundtrack that kept rising and building in loudness and intensity until it reached a crescendo when half naked men were taken away for questioning.

The loud percussive hits accompanying the continuous rhythmic beat fortunately did not end with blood curdling screams as the 'enemy' turned out not to be our own home grown violent rapists or murderers, but some foreigners working hard to improve the living standards of their families back home.

I was hoping that the screenplay would lead, as it really deserved, to the arrest of the really big time drugs dealers who always seem to have Lerin ki zamai kasser, or to some corrupt politician still relying on the good old method of bank notes stuffed in their mattresses with the cameras zooming onto the loot.

No, these were hard working foreigners doing the work that keeps our bakeries going, our building industries still afloat, and many other jobs that our lovely Mauritian people find too demeaning or below them.

You would have noticed that not one question was asked by the zourlanus about the source of the problem: the employers who prefer, albeit often with good reason, to circumvent the law and use foreign workers for the essential jobs that Mauritians refuse to do.

If the intent is to really try to stop illegal immigration, then you attack the source of the problem, non? But that would lead to predictable cries of 'Pa rasse so bousser manzer!", as it is much more acceptable to humiliate the foreign workers (especially if they happen to be Asians...) as they don't have any bousser manzer to worry about, eh? Zis Mauriciens ki ena bousser manzer!

Baguette la bien kram kram, non? Ene bon dipain chaud chaud avek gato pimans la dan, sa ki bon sa! Mo zardin ti mari malang, mai sa ban Bangla Deshis la in fer ene zoli travay, mo dire ou! Et bien bon marser, tou! Et zot pa fer la guele kan mo dire zot bizin travay dimanche et zamai zot envi zoine ar Missier Lundi cordonnier...But when it comes to arresting them, a nou fer ene zoli film lor sa do!

No one will ever think of implementing other more productive and imaginative programmes to deal with the problem: either increase the salaries of workers in those industries, which the employers won't do in any event.

Or accept the fact that most of these people are hardworking, and therefore try to legitimise their stay. If needs be, create a special work permit that allows them to continue to work without the promise of citizenship after a few years.

Or, would you rather they find someone to marry with the sole intention of staying here and then adopting the Mauritian style of work, with its many droits from Ah Kee Stores and its mandatory lundi cordonniers?

Perhaps Mauritians need to be reminded that hundreds of thousands of our compatriots have emigrated to other countries, and a substantial number of them have overstayed their visas and work just as hard as these 'illegals'...and perhaps we ought to remember that we are all descendants of voluntary or forced immigrants to this island.

I now look forward to the police carrying out a large scale raid on the bastards, invariably Mauritian ones, who make the lives of the rest of us a misery every day with their loud music, stridently loud motor bikes and heavily polluting buses and lorries, aggressive behaviour, drug dealing in broad daylight, mugging, stealing, robbing, sexual assaults, domestic violence, and a whole panoply of misdemeanours and crimes which have now unfortunately become common currency in our society.

Picking on the weakest and the most disadvantaged but most hardworking members of our society is the mark of a bully and a panderer of the vilest human emotions to the population.

Enjoy your baguettes and dipin chaud chaud..