Paul Lismore


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Samedi 3 Août 2019

The cynical phrases "Vote early -- and often" and "Vote early -- and vote often" are variously attributed to three different Chicagoans: Al Capone, the famous gangster; Richard J. Daley, corrupt, racist mayor from 1955 to 1976; and William Hale Thompson, mayor from 1915-1923 and 1931-1935. All three were notorious for their corruption and their manipulation of the democratic process.

To save myself the hassle of writing again about an election for representatives of the so called "free and independent press", let me copy what I wrote about the last elections:


" There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity."-- Vladimir Nabokov.

"Bizin transparence! Bizin vrai democrasi! Bizin Freedom of Information Act", are the three favourite slogans of mostly mediocre men and women in the once noble profession of journalism and who now excel in selling their souls to the devil, i.e. whichever politician or rich businessman pays them the most. Of course, as Shashi Tharoor once described the educational standards in India, " We have islands of excellence floating in a sea of mediocrity", which is precisely the current state of affairs in the press and media in Mauritius. But you are unlikely to see those few names in the list of winners decided by that thing called Media Trust.

Let me first explain what the Media Trust is. It came into being as a result of the Media Trust Act 1994, and the main objects of the Trust are to , well, I will mention just one as the rest is wishy washy bollocks. (paissa first, of course, esp if it is taxpayers' money....) 

1/ RECEIVE AND MANAGE FUNDS OBTAINED FROM GOVERNMENT AND OTHER ORGS....that in itself tells you the agenda of this 'Trust'...and should remind you of the axiom, " He who pays the piper calls the tune ". That is the Media Trust's first object according to that law.

At the last elections for the Media Trust, only 154 people voted out of a pool of 527 journalists/zourlanus. The winner obtained 82 votes and the one who came second got 62 votes---which the mathematicians amongst you will rapidly calculate as less than 15% of the electorate for the 'winner' and barely 10% for the runner up.

I did not hear any cry about the lack of interest in democracy, "zot tou parey akoz sa meme boukou pa in voter". The block vote of the main turd in the sewer that makes up most of our press and media, Le Defi, Radio plus, and the rest of the Eshan Khodabux ensemble ensured that all 4 'representatives' of the press came from its stable: Moonien, Bhukory, Gungeea, and the exquisitely coiffeured, self appointed superstar, Jean Luc Gluteus Maximus. So, one press group represents ALL the press and media in our wonderful island, and no one bats an eyelid or even screams " Ki kalite elections sa?".

Section 5(1)(f) clearly stipulates that of "the 4 representatives of the press, TWO of whom shall be EDITORS IN CHIEF..." Gluteus Maximus and Gungeea of the le defi group were elected as EDITORS IN CHIEF despite not being editors in chief, presumably because real editors in chiefs chose to boycott those elections..

And now, we come to the Grand Awards night a la Hollywood, but more like a mutual masturbation session in public.

The mistress of ceremonies, thankfully not in the leather gear that some find very thrilling at these types of sessions, was Christina Chan Meetoo, who is often a regular at le defi/radio plus when gogotologues gather to tell us tales of the bleeding obvious. She is married to Avinash Meetoo, son of ex Mayor of Belle Rose Quatre Bornes, and himself a political nominee as President of the ICTA Board, "Senior Adviser" etc...Anyway, Christina found some of the articles to be lacking in substance, which makes one question how the Media Trust shortlisted these for consideration. No prizes were given in 4 categories, which gives you an indication of their quality and standard..

The Chairman of the Trust? It is an ex Chief of Pravda, otherwise known as the Government Information Services, a chap by the name of Chayman Surajbali. If you think that is ok, remember that this is the first time since 1994 when the Media Trust was born that it is chaired by an outsider and not NOT chaired by a full time journalist. The previous chairman, Lindsay Riviere, coincidentally began selling his magazine during his tenure as Chairman, and received one of those tin medals given to serviteurs du pays by El Presidente...

In effect, this means that the zourlanus of le defi supposedly representing all journalists have been hobnobbing with a government appointee who used to be in charge of government propaganda...As Anil Gayan used to say when he resembled a real human being, "Only in Mauritius!".

Who won the awards for scintillating Mauritian journalism? Someone who told us that credit cards are very naughty because they can lumber us with debts...and others who reminded us that ena problem avek la farmaci lopital....things of course which we never knew and for which we will be forever grateful, I suppose..Oh, before I forget, that fountain of supreme wisdom and knowledge and impartiality known as the MBC won awards too....Haha! Perhaps next year, they will create a special Oscar for distorting news, arse cringing sycophancy, waste of taxpayers' money, and utter boredom, as the MBC will definitely win that one.

So, there you are. A whole year of mostly crap news from the sewers of our press culminating in awards for mediocrity, all lovingly gazed upon by, Chana Puri, Sherry darling, and some woman 'working' at MT and who deludes herself that she is a journalist. And no prizes for Patrick Michel of le mauricien, the Uncle Tom of Mauritian journalism, which is quite scandalous! I suggest they appoint him as Chairman Emeritus of the Media Trust, as he so loves the title that apparently makes his la braguette stretch, and which forces him to mention it every time BAI is mentioned ...

You are unlikely to see any real journalists amongst the prize winners...Because in the sewer, only turds flourish. And le defi never comes 'turd' in the press championship of turds...

Samedi 3 Août 2019

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