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Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] There is no nobility in bending over backwards to please your political masters


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Lundi 25 Mars 2019

" It shows nobility to be willing to increase your debt to a man to whom you already owe much." Marcus Tullius Cicero.



Our lovely president, Paramasivum Pillay "Barlen" Vyapoory, shows that type of nobility, as defined by Cicero over two thousand years ago, because he owes so much to the family who have made him what he is today, thus ensuring for him a lifetime of super luxury and prodigious comfort with all sorts of incredible privileges thrown in for good measure.

He will benefit from all of this despite not paying one cent in income tax since 4th April 2016 when he was appointed Vice President of Mauritius by SAJ, which means that in our democracy, he joined the ranks of a small handful of individuals who will never have to fork out anything in income tax until the day they die.

Even his pension, which at current rates would be in the region of around Rs 250,000 per month, will be tax free.

Still, he won't have any problems, like other ex presidents, to give us tear jerking speeches on poverty, and how nou tou bizin fer ene zefor pou ed ban dimoune mizer...

" « Je suis fier de ce que je fais et j’ai confiance en moi-même ». Je me laisse guider par des principes et des sentiments nobles. Pas plus pas moins »" , he proclaimed to the world today via that admirable Government newspaper called le defi.

Wonderful! Pas plus, pas moins! So, in a patriotic zeal and fervour that sometimes grabs me by the balls, I have invented a little game, and Lepep Admirab can tell us whether you think each of your answers to these questions reflect "Plus nobilite" or "moins nobilite".

An OSK will be awarded for the plebs who answer correctly, as the GCSK, GOSK, etc are reserved mostly for the high class thieves and brigands who believe their shits smell nice.

1/ Is it plus or moins noble if you take over Rs 350,000 a month from us and you do not pay a single cent in income tax?

2/ Is it plus or moins noble that on top of that stupendous salary, despite living rent free in a chateau and paying no utilities or any bills whatsoever, you take from us another million rupees every year as " annual duty allowance"?

3/ Is it plus or moins noble if after a few years of 'slumming it' in a rent free chateau, you take a pension of TWO THIRDs of your salary (Tax free for ever, of course), as opposed to what us plebs get as pension, which is half of our salary, and subject to income tax if you are past the threshold?

4/ Is it plus or moins noble that when you retire after a short stint of trying to look important and doing next to fuck all, we have to provide you with a clerk-typist, an office attendant, a limousine with chauffeur, and God knows how many police bodyguards 24/7, until the day you die?

5/ Is it plus or moins noble that when you die, we have to pay your wife/husband the same 2/3 pension for the first year (at current rates, around Rs 250,000 per month tax free) following your death and a half pension for the remainder of the spouse's life? 

6/ Is it plus or moins noble that Section 30(A)(4) means that NO ONE can change any of your ludicrous privileges and entitlements unless you say 'yes, that is fine, zot p donne moi tro boukou!"?

7/ Is it plus or moins noble that you CANNOT face any civil or criminal charges whilst in office and no warrant or summons can be issued against you , under Section 30A (1)and (2) of the lovely Constitution that is under your guardianship? (Oh imagine the fun I could have with this!!!!

I could slap Bobok Haraam and kick his arse, and my police bodyguards would say " Korek sa mam! bez li ene kou enkor, ene Bobok sa!"; I could remove the Ayatollah's collarless shirt, drag him to a marsan anbilan, and tell him " arete fer zes, deklar tro relizier! Bour ene simiz normal lor toi!"; every time I walk past Etienne Sinatanbou, I could violently tug at his elephantine ears, spit on his slaphead, and scream "E.T. call home!". The possibilities are limitless with this "noble" aspect of our Constitution, don't you think?

8/ Is it plus or moins noble if, for example, my daughter is getting married and I am such a tight bastard that instead of doing what everyone else does and buy my vegetables at the local market for the nuptial services, I grab as many lalos, etc as I can from the Presidential gardens?

9/ Is it plus or moins noble that any opportunity that presents itself as a mission bidon, I will grab it and amass a fortune from the huge per diem I am entitled to?

10/ Is it plus or moins noble that when you became Vice President, you said this about women “Je ne pense pas qu’il y ait vraiment un glass ceiling qui entrave la progression des femmes ;bien souvent ce sont elles-mêmes qui décident de ne pas aller bien loin.”

When you know that the reality is otherwise, that male political leaders believe that 52% of the population cannot aspire to obtaining 50% of the tickets for elections until at least 2030? and that they are too useless to do it now by themselves because they apparently need legislation for what is clearly a decent and just thing for them to do now?

11/ Is it plus or moins noble that you sought to ask a quite useless Vishnu Lutchmeenaraidoo to reconsider his letter of resignation when that has nothing to do with you?

12/ Is it plus or moins noble to behave like the President of a political party instead of behaving with decorum and impartiality as President of Mauritius?

So, have fun with the above quiz and remember: whatever you think or do, our 'democracy' allows some men and some women who believe their shit smells nice to do as they wish. 

Long live Chana Puri!


Lundi 25 Mars 2019

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