Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] The most useless jobs in Paradise island

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Dimanche 11 Avril 2021

I saw this in one of today's newspapers : " Du 7 juillet 2020 au 4 février dernier, Sarah Rawat Currimjee était également au ministère de l’Éducation, où elle occupait la poste de Senior Adviser".

And what was Lady Macbeth's bosom pal and confidante, and part of the ti cretin's inner circle, doing there, I hear you ask? She was, wait for it, Senior Adviser on "policies and strategies for holistic development and inclusiveness in education », i.e. possibly the most non job imaginable in an island where corrupt leaders always find the most pointless and useless jobs imaginable for its zombies, and all at taxpayers' expense.

Admit it: When you see the job title of "Senior Adviser on policies for holistic development", I bet you that your first reaction was "Fuck me sideways with an English cucumber, because this cannot be real!". As for "inclusiveness in education", a system that ensures that private tuition is economically and socially divisive and will always treat schoolchildren from poor backgrounds as second class citizens can NEVER be inclusive.

So, that pompous job title, despite its attempt to make it sound very important, is just another way of telling us: "Thank you morons for providing us with your taxes, so that we can provide a lovely standard of living and incongruous self importance to a bunch of arseholes whose tongues are permanently stuck up the arses of politicians in government."

So, what are the other useless non jobs being financed against their will by taxpayers?

1/ Pride of place must go to the biggest non job of them all, the Vice Presidency of this crap Republic. You have to be incredibly cynical and a psychopath to invent a job that has no relevance to our lives whatsoever, and you then force us to pay your nominee an absolute, tax free fortune until the day he/she croaks it. And even after an army of idiots has written the obligatory R.I.P. on press obituaries, the taxpayer will still have to pay a huge pension for the widow/widower until he/she croaks it too!

2/ If you believe that our Presidents have been any better than the largely invisible Vice Presidents, you may conclude that the Presidency is not a non job. I do not agree. I think it is the most extreme example of the largesse and generosity with our money of corrupt politicians being 'nice' to their people. No need to mention names of previous Presidents now enjoying bountiful tax free pensions, but try to make the connection between these two things, and you will see that I may have a point: President Baigan and usefulness. You can't make any connection, can you?

3/ Those pathetic zourlanus attending press conferences of politicians with marginally more brain cells than they have: Is there a more pointless job than this? Sat there with their little notebooks and phones switched on "record", and not even one decent or relevant question to ask?

4/ The army of advisers employed, sorry nominated, at great expense to us, by politicians who have mastered only one thing in politics: How to steal even more from the taxpayer than the previous lot. Some of these politicians are so stupid that they can't even steal with some intelligence: for example, look at Yogi and his little army of crooks, and le ti cretin's absence of any records to explain how his High Level Committee gave Rs 1.7 billions of our money to crooks and fraudsters.

If you want further evidence of the uselessness of advisers, have a look at Ken Arianus and his band of idiots in the PMO.

5/ Our High Commissioners. Most of them stayed in Mauritius for months, so that is sufficient evidence to show you how useless they really are in the countries unfortunate enough to have them as our ambassadors. If you need further evidence, ask any Mauritian emigre in any of the countries where we have official representatives, and if their first reaction is not " Sa ban LKZMM la!", I'll change my name and call myself Arianus from now on...And if I mention the Ayatollah Mouftah, I think that clinches the argument about the absolute uselessness of those nominees, non?

6/ The vast number of Assistant/Deputy/Senior/Chief Superintendents/ Commissioners of police who serve to show that strength in numbers is not always indicative of quality performance and high standards. The same goes for the huge number of Assistant/Deputy/Senior sipaki Civil Servants who will soon need someone employed specifically to scratch their arses because of numbness from sitting too much and doing nothing.

7/ CEOs and "Boards of Management" of 90% of our parastatal orgs. What is the point of them when we know that a/ a lot of our money will be stolen as commissions for corrupt contracts b/ most of them are as useful as a knitted condom. 

I am sure you have your own list of useless jobs, but I have to stop here as some poor souls find reading more than 10 lines too taxing for their little brains. To these unfortunate souls, may I advise a course on " holistic development and inclusiveness"?  For further details, please contact Sarah, c/o la cuisine, lAngussorma Road.

Dimanche 11 Avril 2021

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