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Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] The lies we tell each other...


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Jeudi 9 Septembre 2021



1/ " One of the many reasons I love you is because you love taking long, romantic walks with me".....This is a favourite one for people who do not have cars. Also good for those who don't want to use the Metro in case they come across the horrible experience of seeing  Alan Ganoo on the same train.

2/ "I am 5 ft 10 inches tall, but my long legs make me look like I am 6 ft tall", goes the advert from the single male running out of platform shoes to boost his 5 ft 6 inches stature...

3/ " My past relationships were not serious. You are so mature, so intelligent. You are the real deal, you make me want to come by just listening to you. Size does not matter. Really.  I love you so much!" This is to be repeated at the beginning of every new relationship....

4/ " I love you. Please tell me again about all your family dramas. Honest, I love listening to them, they never bore me to death. Is your sister on her third lover already after her divorce last month? Does your mum still love the dog more than she loves your Dad?.."

5/ " I have no idea what my ex is up to" (after checking his/her profile for the tenth time today...)

6/ " Sorry, I didn't see your text/ Messenger/ My phone died/ I will have to change the battery, etc.  I have been so busy. Very tired now. I am sure you understand. Going to lie down." (even though it is six in the evening...)

7/ To follow on from 6: " Can we just cuddle tonight? I am sooo tired"...

8/  " I'll call you later", which inevitably follows 6 and 7...The call then happens when you have nearly given up. but that is just to check if you are desperate enough to pay for a sumptuous meal for him/her.

9/ The end, and the best lie: " I still love you but I am not in love with you. You are really so nice. I don't think I will ever meet anyone like you again. We keep in touch, ok?"....Translated, it means, "Fuck off! I have bagged someone else!"

10/ Beginning of a new relationship. Repeat point 3 to the new idiot in your life: " My past relationships were not serious. You are so mature, so intelligent. You are the real deal, you make me want to come by just listening to you. Size does not matter. Really. I love you so much!"

Jeudi 9 Septembre 2021

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