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Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] The hidden sexual meaning of the slogans of our political parties...


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Samedi 10 Octobre 2020



A word of caution first to those who walk around with a stick up their arses and who believe that having a sense of humour is a mortal sin or that sex is dirty: move along! This post is not for you. May your cucumber be nice to you...

For years, we have been bombarded with the same stupid slogans by our political parties, and I have come to the conclusion, reached rather hastily, that these slogans must contain some hidden sexual meaning, and are designed to act as sublimation of our subconscious desires...Otherwise, taken on their own, they really are incredibly stupid and literally mean nothing.

"Coq sante, soley leve", the PMSD's favourite cri de guerre...This is clearly an ode to early morning erection, don't you think? In the old days, urologists used to get their male patients with problems 'down there' to wrap a roll of stamps around their flaccid penises before going to bed....if the perforations were torn in the morning, yippee! This meant that the 'Morning wood' is evidence that the blood flow to the organ that men cherish the most is fine, and that the truism that the penis is a 'use it or lose it' organ is validated every morning when the little fella stands up proudly to attention... 

And if you happen to get lucky and are able to use it with a lovely bedtime companion, Rezilta lor Rezilta is the obvious victory mantra! That Zaza is not stupid, you know, to have come up with a slogan that goes directly to the thing that is valued a lot, and which is used by our politicians as the centre of their thought processes....

" Bef travay, souval manzer"....A lament to those situations where you are almost at the point of no return only for someone else to sneak in quietly and eat the forbidden fruit....which is a regular feature of our society where politicians will nominate some idiot who happens to be a friend, family or soucerre at the expense of those who have worked hard for their skills and qualifications. Before elections, politicians will say: "Pa kapav sa! Avek nou, seki fer foreplay, li meme pou rant dan la porte! Ar nou, bef travay, bef meme pou manzer!" Aprer elections, tou kalite kosson pou vine manzer...

" Kan mo la, zamai zot bizin peur!": Here, the politician is trying to reassure you that he won't hurt you and that he is merely boasting about the size of his accoutrement, even if it is the size of a banane zinzli....He will try to reassure the recipient that everything will be ok, that mo la pou servi ou, mo pou fer zoli gatee ar ou, that mo ena boukou lexperians, that mo coq pa morder, zis sante....

Aprer elections, so coq pou morde ou porte monnai et avoy ou ferfoute.

" Plus fort que jamais!" A proclamation of virility, of still being up to the job, with the fanciful lessons of 'history' to make the experience more pleasurable...Mo p fer sa depi 50 ans, meme si mo in fail, vine avek moi mo pou sanz ou la vie...Mo konne serre mo le rein, meme si cyclone vini, zamai pa bizin fatiguer, mo canon special p sante depi 50 ans! Satisfaction guaranteed!

" Mo pou donne ou satisfaktion!" The empty brag of a spoilt brat who has failed to rise up to the occasion...and who does not understand kifer so coq pa sante kouma lezot....Perhaps he needs the use of a cigar a la Clinton/Lewinsky to get his arse into gear at last...washed down with the Blue Label he mentions in every fucking speech. Evidaman....et bien sure...

"Mo la main prop", which suggests he has never masturbated either, and instead uses his hands to sign dodgy notaries' papers for land bought by others in his name...

Finally, the song that is used by our politicians to extol the 'mauricianisme' that they keep doing their best to destroy by doing everything possible to maintain and deepen the divisions between the different ethnic groups on the island. " Donne to la main, pran mo la main"....that is obviously an invitation for mutual masturbation, don't you think? 

So, the next time a politician whips out one of those slogans in front of you, remember! It is sex that he is after!

After all, they have been fucking this country for decades now!


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