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Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] The eunuch in charge of the harem: the castrated police commissioners in charge of our police force


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Samedi 21 Novembre 2020



Human behaviour is made up of some traits that are so instinctive that they become second nature to the way we operate on a daily basis. If we see an accident on the road, many people will slow down and gawp at the mangled mess and very few of us will actually stop and offer any help to the unfortunate victims. Our reluctance to help stems largely from the hope that better qualified people will soon be on the scene and their actions will be far more useful than anything we could offer.

But what happens when those we have chosen to act on our behalf in order to alleviate the difficulties that we all face turn out to be incompetent buffoons who have mastered the art of saying 'but what can I do?' in that nauseatingly plaintive tone of the irredeemably inept? There is nothing intrinsically wrong in being inept or incompetent provided you do not go around pretending how wonderful you are, and how you are much better than other candidates at resolving the problems that we all face as a nation.

Unfortunately, that is the fate that befalls the citizens of Paradise Island on any objective analysis of the calibre of the police commissioners that we have had since the nineties, with the possible exception of Raj Dayal who, despite all the controversy and delusions of grandeur, at least did behave like a police commissioner and not as the Prime Minister's dummy.

We have since had police commissioners in name only; chaps looking impressive in their resplendent uniforms and shiny shoes who seem to have mastered one thing only: the art of meeting with the Prime Minister of the day, and coming out of the PMO without a crease on their shirt and their knees looking intact despite all the bowing, genuflecting, and slithering around on their stomachs...

What is wrong with these people? How can they look at themselves in the mirror and not flinch at the realisation that they consistently fail to live up to their constitutional role as defined in Section 71 (1-4) of our Constitution? 

What would it take for a police commissioner, any police commissioner to have the decency and the integrity to tell any Prime Minister: " The police force is under MY command, not yours. I am responsible for determining the use and controlling the operations of the force and, I shall not, in the exercise of my responsibilities and powers, be subject to the direction or control of ANY person or authority. (paras 2 and 4 of Section 71 of our Constitution). All that YOU are allowed to do is to give me such general directions of policy with respect to the maintenance of public safety and public order as you may consider necessary, and I shall comply with such directions or cause them to be complied with ( Para 3 of Section 71). But don't tell me how to conduct operational matters, ok shagger? This has nothing to do with you!"

Instead, what have we had?

Police commissioners whose names everyone has forgotten due to their uselessness and pathetic inability to say 'no' to the Prime Minister of the day; we have had Prime Ministers with uncontrollable delusions of grandeur demanding and obtaining numerous police officers to accompany them and to salute them like stuffed monkey dolls wound up to do only that at regular intervals; we have had this grotesque caricature known as VIPSU which has generated its own Frankenstein like creation known as VVIPSU, and which now removes at least one thousand police officers every day away from the job that we all pay them to do: to stop the criminals making life hell for the rest of us. Instead, these gablous are 'protecting' politicians and their nominees from the very people who voted them into power!

When will we have a police commissioner with the balls to say to the Prime Minister: " I am drastically reducing the number of officers in VIPSU. I fail to see why people like ex Presidents, ex Vice Presidents, junior ministers, etc should have at least one police officer with them 24 hours a day. Of course, I will protect them if they face credible threats. Tell them from now on to do their own shopping or to find other babysitters, as my officers have better things to do than to guard pompous idiots from non existing threats." What could be so difficult with that? 

Instead, we have had the VIPSU brigade being turned into a promotion factory by successive Prime Ministers, so that now too many police officers believe that it is the place to be if you want to progress further into your career..

Imagine this! People who are experts only in opening and shutting the doors of limousines, and of looking like real Ploks with dark glasses whilst stood behind their political Gods, are the ones who magically find themselves in the fast promotion track and who end up in very senior positions whilst knowing next to nothing about the real job of a policeman! How can you expect a police force to function properly when you have untrained baboons at senior level giving orders to thousands of police officers?

But the worst aspect of our useless police commissioners has been their silence and impotence when Prime Ministers have used their own officers to bypass them and report directly to the PM himself instead.

Have they no shame at all? How can they allow this to happen? What is so difficult with the police commissioner issuing a clear instruction to all his officers that any meeting with any politician will in future need his approval first? And that any police officer will have direct access to the Commissioner whenever some idiotic politician or his/her friend issues the immortal question 'To koner moi kisan la' before asking the officer to do something that he/she should not be doing?

I am afraid our Marionette/Poupette commissioners embody all of the above:  thoroughly useless, incompetent, sycophants to the marrow of their bones and  who have achieved the remarkable feat of turning the mostly decent men and women under their  command into objects of ridicule. 

The Commissioner is a real dummy with not even a single opinion on the matters that should concern him: he never talks about the increasing level of crime which concerns all of us; he never talks about how he will lead his force into a real fight against crime; he never says anything when shitty politicians use Casernes as a lotel dite which they often visit in order to make the most stupid complaint imaginable, which then ends up keeping the police away from their primary duty of fighting crime and preserving the public peace. He does not have the balls to tell these parasites: " Li in diffame ou? B al poursuiv li o civil et pa amerde fesse mo ban policiers avek ou ban zistoires!"

Ever heard him decry the absence of a Police and Criminal Evidence Act, which has been talked about for more than a decade? Ever seen him visit any police officer hurt by some goon? Ever seen him comfort any civilian who has been injured by a psychopathic husband or any of the numerous victims of violent crime? Ever seen him do anything except attending police parades for new recruits? Instead, he acts like an aide de camp to tinpot dictators with their own delusions of grandeur that the more police officers they have around them, the more important they will look.

 It really makes one wonder what sort of legacy our Komisser Poupette will leave...He had less than a year to make a mark for himself and to show us that police commissioners are people of integrity, with principles and ethics as his guidelines, and who will show true leadership to his troops. Instead, the only thing that people will say about him is " Mille fois Marionette!"

As for Lepep Kouyon? Keep whingeing about the level of crime in your neighbourhood. Perhaps one day you will wake up and decide to defend your neighbourhood as a whole community and batter the criminals senseless. Because we can no longer rely on the police to defend us. Why?

Because we do not have a national police force. Instead, we have a police force run by and for our politicians and their friends, including the criminals acting as their bodyguards/tapeurs and purveyors of drugs money which are quaintly called 'donations politiks'. And that is why the big drugs dealers/importers/smugglers are never caught, because they enjoy the protection of those who should be arresting them... 

The politicians and their friends who have made massive amounts of money by being the financiers for those drugs importers can continue to sleep easy; as long as we have police commissioners who have not mastered the ABC of their hugely important post in a democracy, deviant politicians and corrupt police officers will always remain the numero uno mafia group on the island.....


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