Paul Lismore


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Samedi 28 Septembre 2019

A friend has sent me this message, and the allegory captures perfectly the insanely corrupt way our politicians nominate absolute arseholes on our behalf, and who then forces us to pay them huge amounts of money and privileges out of our taxes:

" The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain. So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.

The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rain storm." The king replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him." So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain." So the king hired the donkey...

And so began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. The practice is unbroken to this day."

And never more so than in Mauritius, where all sorts of so called para statals proliferate and breed like rabbits, and whose sole function is for the new Prime Minister to reward his soucerres and arse lickers with positions that their drab personalities and overblown/fake qualifications make them singularly ill qualified to carry out the duties and responsibilities of those posts.

It happens under every government that has included all our major political parties. Billions of our rupees have been wasted in filling these non jobs, which despite their high sounding names, have ended up invariably doing fuck all.

Let us look at three bodies which should, in any real democracy, have a preponderant role in ensuring that our electoral process is as fair and clean as possible:

The Independent Broadcasting Authority, the Electoral Commissioner, and the Electoral Supervisory Commission. You don't need to tell me that all three have abysmally failed their mandatory duties, and have instead decided that a laisser faire approach is a sign of dynamism and proper safeguard of our electoral processes and our very spurious claim to being a country that holds 'free and fair elections".

First of all, the biggest bunch of useless individuals known to mankind, and who sit on the board of that thing called the Independent Broadcasting Authority.

There really has never been a more decrepit and utterly inefficient supervisory and administrative body. I am convinced that all the Board members since its creation have all been dead a long time ago and that we are paying skeletons huge amounts of money every month to just still still and do nothing, apart from now and again rattling their bones a little bit. Its board consists entirely of people who owe their livelihood to the Prime Minister of the day, and do you honestly believe therefore that even one of them will have the independence or decency of spirit to take any action whenever someone gleefully flouts the IBA Act?

Allow me to quote from the IBA Act and to highlight some of the main objects of this moribund IBA:

1/ " Promote the development of broadcasting services which are responsive to the needs of the Mauritian audience." We have seen recently how 3 radio licences went directly to La Cuisine. That is the IBA's idea of the " Mauritian audience"....

2/ " Impose limitations on cross media control of private broadcasting services"....mari limitations sa kan Radio Plus Pire, Wazaa sipaki ggtri, the other two new radio stations, Insane News, Lee Shim's two toilet rolls, and others are all broadcasting from la cuisine, with Lady Macbeth's patolle right up their arses....

3/ This one will kill you! " ENSURE THAT BROADCASTING SERVICES ARE IMPARTIAL AND ACCURATE" Haha! ...Yes! This needs no sarcasm or mockery from me apart from reminding you that the previous Chairperson of the IBA was Choomka, the one who appointed herself CEO from being merely a member of the Board and who then found the paissa of the South Koreans so appealing...


By all accounts, a real gentleman, but if we wanted only someone nice to chair an essential part of our democracy, my dog fits the bill perfectly. Have you ever heard him say anything about our corrupt electoral processes, about those donations politiques, esp from the super rich and not just Dawood Rawat (as stupid zourlanus and stupid politicians are trying to make us believe), about the huge level of bribery and corruption going on now, about the immense amount of our money being used to employ people in an already over bloated Civil Service (Ashok Jugnauth got condemned, rightly so, over a fucking cemetery, and here we have thousands of people being directly employed by ministers, and nothing is said?), about large buildings built to magically open just before the elections, about the incredibly partisan and oik like coverage of politicians by papers financed by a disreputable individual who has made an absolute fortune over the misery of so many of our citizens, etc etc.

In the eyes of the electoral commissioner, everything is fine, whereas his silence tells us that he must be quietly condoning these thoroughly anti democratic methods.

There is another body of zombies and transmogrified dummies called the Electoral Supervisory Commission. Suffice to say that this too is like the Planet of the Living Dead and that it recently added a bona fide member of la cuisine to its 'independent' body. As for its so called supervisory functions, this body would do a much better job supervising shit being siphoned into a Waste Water Management lorry.

All 3 have kept quiet over the Civil Service appointment by the thousands, the koup riban nonsense timed to perfection for just before the ballot boxes open, the purchase of ugly, fat trollops by shitty newspapers and shittier radio stations in order to manufacture stories/ throw buckets of shits over the opponents of the government, and so many other things that mean we are the last nation on earth to claim that our electoral processes are clean, fair, and balanced.

And when these pik latrines are allowed to be clearly in contempt of court by putting enormous pressure on the DPP to appeal something which in law he cannot, and to impugn his integrity by claiming that as he is Arvin Boolell's brother, that is why Ramgoolam 'got away' with Roches Noires, then my friends, we have never sunk so low.

And it makes us wonder whether the 'petar sinoi' that the Ayatollah Mouftah is fond of mentioning would not be better planted and lit in the arses of those useless dummies in the 3 bodies I have mentioned.

Vreman ena bez dan sa ggt pays la! Dumb asses and donkeys everywhere....entirely at our expense...

Samedi 28 Septembre 2019

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