Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] Speaker p dire ki standing orders tro vier

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Mardi 4 Avril 2023

[Paul Lismore] Speaker p dire ki standing orders tro vier
Direct from the National Assembly, Via the Mauritius Bourbak Corporation:

Speaker: Onurable members, ziz Isstanding Orders are too old. I am a man of ze times, Modern Man.

Shakeel Mohamed: Ein? 1er foi ki ene prehistoric man p apel li modern...

Speaker: Onurable Sakil Mohamed, I order you out! Decorum! Zis is parliamentary democracy! Decofuckingrum! Where eez my rhum, by ze way?

Someone in uniform, with a rope over his shoulders and calls himself Sergeant at Arms although we don't see any weapons, comes over and stands next to Shakeel. " Ki to ete, toi? To p donne moi kasse transport pou al lakaz? Saye depi la!" The Sergeant at Arms plays with the rope on his shoulders and looks embarrassed. Shakeel walks out, screaming " To ene batiara! Mille fois Maya! Bizin retourne toi L'Egypte!" 

Speaker resumes his speech: As I was saying, ze Isstanding Orders are too old. So, I will start replacing zem one by one. Here eez the first one, Onurable members:

As from today, zer will be no playing of the National Ansem when we come in. Instead, we will play topical themes and tunes, so zat piple outside can see zat we are modern, zat we are "Wiz it", as ze say. Si ban la bouze, nou oussi nou bouze et bouze plis, ok Onurable members?

Ze one topic on everyone's mind is the Cock and Cerf party at Grand Bassin. Apparently, an Onurable member had a "biche" zer (as well as a whole deer...), and has been saying " Ma biche" to every woman zat he sees. So, in honour of ze great entrepreneurial spirit of ze Onurable member and his hunting skills, we will play Louis de Fune's clip for zis week.

p.s. I have just been handed a letter from ze Onurable member's wife. It reads: " Dire sa ggt la ki si li amene so biche ici, mo pou bour ene gro boite corn mouton dan so trou kanaka, followed by a boutey piman Rodrigues! Samjhe, malech?"

Anyway, Onurable mmembers, that is zer problem. Let us watch Louis de Funes and his biche. Long live our democracy!

Mardi 4 Avril 2023

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