Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] Si zot dire "Bour", mo pou bour zot endan!

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Vendredi 24 Septembre 2021

That seems to be the quite extraordinary new tactic of the police: A word that has been on the lips of most people since August last year has suddenly become taboo, parski sa ban saints ki dan la police et ki zamai zourer in truv sa mot la ene sel kou vine inaxceptab. Kan mo dire zot ki vreman ena bez dan sa ggt pays, alor il y a vreman du bez ici, buuunuuum!

We have seen numerous videos of police brutality where the most awful language is being used by the men in blue towards defenceless citizens. Bad language by the police is a daily occurrence, especially when some are pissed whilst on duty, but it would seem that Dip, the new police commissioner on probation, is rather too keen to please his master, Pravind Kumar Jugnauth, and has now decided to arrest Ivann Bibi...simply because he used the word used by hundreds of thousands of demonstrators in Port Louis in August 2020 and which has been repeated ever since all around the island.

So, let us see in what context the word "bour" can be used which might please Dip....

1/ "Bour" is an old English word for "cottage", so it is ok if you tell someone who you really want to bour, " to bizin visit moi, mo bour bien zoli", Dip will be fine with that. Even though he might be tempted to say, "to p sikane moi? aller, mo fer mo gablous bour toi dan to bour la!".

2/ Shouting "Bour li deor" is wrong, especially if it is raining and le ti cretin did not bring his umbrella. You will agree with me that in those circumstances, "Bour li deor" sounds rather cruel..Evidaman et bien sure, the poor man will catch a cold, non?

3/ "Bour li deor" is perfectly acceptable, according to Dip, if the "li" refers to anyone in the opposition...

4/ " Bour zot deor!" is not acceptable as the "zot" includes the real police commissioner, Pravind Jugnauth...

5/ " Bour sa ene kalotte, do!" Again that is acceptable only if a police officer says it when you look at him with a smile that says "to vant gro kumsa ta? Kan dire toi fer sit ups, sel "sit" ki to konpran, c assiz dan la kanbiz et tap to larak?" But in our etat de droit,  it is perfectly acceptable if the police officer says it even when you don't look at him...

6/ "Bour sa ene cou pied/ cou poin" Same as in number 5 if it is the police saying it.

7/ "Man United in bien bour Liverpool hier!" or " Liverpool in bien bour Man U hier!"....depends on your taste and whether you like wasting your money on those pestilential fire crackers or not...This one is perfectly acceptable, because Facebook is flooded with messages of that nature even before the game has finished...

8/ " Mo envi bour toi akoz mo kontan toi": within the privacy of the room/hotel room/ pensionnat/Karo kann, this is considered as part of the mating ritual and therefore perfectly ok. Not acceptable if you shout it from your window to the object of your desire when you see him/her walking on the street....

9/ "Prochain elections, bour zot dan karo kann!". Note: This is not an appeal or an advert for people to work in sugar cane plantations, due to shortage of labour. It is a message to the thieves that we will kick them out of power. But remember, "Bour zot dan karo kann" is acceptable only if you do not add the name of Pravind Jugnauth or the MSM or la cuisine to the end of that exhortation! Dip will not like it if you do! But you can add the name of any member of the opposition, ok?

10/ Senegal is breaking off diplomatic relations with Mauritius. Why? Because they are upset that the name of their hero in lutte Senegalese, Bour Sine, is now considered obscene by our police force. Check the video of Bour Sine in action in the first comment in this post. Senegalese p dire, " b ki ggt sa? ki nou in fer zot kumsa pou zot insilte nou? Bour Moriste deor!"

Finally, instead of saying " Mo envi bour toi" to your lover, please be more tactful from now on. In honour of our lovely police commissioner, you should say, " I want to dip my ting in your ting, mo gatee." 

Si zot gagne ene kalotte avek " Ki ting to p kozer? Pa koir to pou tousse mo ting!", don't blame me. Blame Dip, the police commissioner, for forcing us to dip our ting into a lovely ting, because he thinks "bour" is not acceptable... 

Vendredi 24 Septembre 2021

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