Paul Lismore


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Lundi 30 Septembre 2019

Someone who only Le Createur knows how he could ever have been elected, never mind being appointed minister, Vice PRM, and even acting as PM at times, will attend court tomorrow.

Why? Because he has been charged with "Outrage contre un membre de L'assemblee Nationale" as a result of some anti patriotes claiming that a video recording showing him making threats to kill is a criminal offence.

Truver ki kalite anti patriotes nou ena dan sa ggt pays la? Zot zalou! Boug la ti p maye les rats dan lopital et guet kot li in ariver zordi! Li ene multi multi millionaire, li fek gagne Rs 49 millions depi nou poches parski li vanne lease nou la terre, et nou politiciens dan tou parti koir ki ene mari bon business sa parski zot oussi fer parey kan zot kapav.

Li voyaz dan avion prive sa gran humanitaire depi Saudi Arabia, ki kontan pratik so grinder lor le kor ban anti patriotes ki dire li ene diktater bien vicier. Sak foi li sap dan bez, li fer nou rapel ki li ene croyant, ki c le Createur ki in tire la corde depi so li kou, et pa sipaki mazistra. Et so larmes kouler lerla, la voi tranbler, et li promet nou, sirtou ban habitans nimero 15, ki li pou kontinier servi nou pays..Ena pli gran patriote ki li, dire moi ene kou?

Tomorrow, he will appear in an imaginary court, and he will tell the magistrate this, because these are the words of God that he gets every day directly from him. From the official court transcript:

Ayatollah Mouftah: " Mo pa ti dire ki mo pou touy li! Fake News sa, Your Honour! Mo ti dire ki avek mo fizi dilo, mo pou TRANPE li! Ban anti patriotes p koz menti lor moi! Mo ene croyant, moi, et le Createur pran consey ar moi tou les zours!"

Your Honour: Yes, tranpe et touye sounds the same in this obviously fake video. You are a man of impeccable honour and integrity, and the country is grateful for your services and sacrifices. I do not believe that you could have made such a threat. We all know that you are a clown, a terrible joker, and it is clear to the court that the revolver you are heard to mention on tape is the revolving tie that clowns like you love to wear, esp when the button hole rose then squirts water at the victim of your prank. It is clear to me that you wanted to squirt water on that person, who as we know, you have called "my brother".The charge has not been proven. Inpossib pou touy dimoune avek fizi dilo. Mr Ayatollah Mouftah, you are free to leave the court and to resume making wonderful speeches of sincerity and honesty that many people love to hear, esp our serviteurs du pays."

And many people who, for some weird and inexplicable reason, wear a badge stating "Press" or " Journalist", will swarm around the patriot, wait for the tears to flow, and for "Createur" and "Croyant" to be in the first sentence he utters, and bingo! Hold the front pages, they will shout down the phone to whichever toilet they toil for.

That was an account of a farcical event that is quite commonplace in that imaginary island. That sort of sickening nonsense would never happen in our etat de droit, in our wonderful Mauritius..

Lundi 30 Septembre 2019

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