Paul Lismore


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Dimanche 6 Octobre 2019


In a post on 18th September 2019, I predicted that Pravin Jugnauth would call the elections no later than the last week of November or the first week of December.

That was when everyone seemed hung up on the 8th December as the magical date. I was wrong, because I overlooked the ease with which our Lepep Kouyon can be conned so easily by the same people who have stolen massively from them.

I ignored the potential hysteria that billions of our own money will bring out in many people when they see a shiny Metro on our island....Pravin Jugnauth, being the excellent con man that he is, has realised that there is nothing easier in life than to appeal to the soucerre mentality of many of our compatriots and to stoke the flames of "moi oussi mo kapav gagne sa si mo souce li"...the same flames that have now extinguished for good the already flickering lights in the political lives of soulless mercenaries like Ganoo and his Lachanya, Steve Obeedoobeedoo, and the other many transfuges, mainly from the MMM.

La cuisine is hoping against hope that the Metro will make our memories of the terrible corruption, nepotism, dominerr, maladministration, commissions, soiling of all our institutions, and thieving of the 2014-2019 government pale into insignificance. Why? Because they do not have much else to show us, although they and their zombies will try to flog us a few pieces of tatty jewellery and claim that they are 'bijoux'....

In that 18th September post, I wrote that " Any chance of winning the next elections will depend entirely on the timing of those elections and whether a Lepep Kouyon will choose to forget the outrageous scandals of corruption, nepotism, stealing, maladministration, and financial irresponsibility since 2014, or feels so spoilt with all the political bribes you have been splashing on them during the last year that they feel 'duty bound' to give you a vote.

Remember, Lepep Kouyon has the memory of a moineau, and "goodies" given today will either be forgotten next week or will give rise to the expectation of more and better goodies to come...Take the JIOI as an example, where you desperately tried to make a national event sound like the triumph of the government via your ministre lamoresse zoranz. Does anyone remember much about this now?

As for the Papal visit, which you again tried to turn into a real zafer la cuisine, the only images that linger in the minds of most people is the humility and modesty of the Pope in sitting on the front seat of an ordinary Renault with the windows open so that he could greet the crowds, and you hiding away behind closed, bullet proof windows with your gorillas in a limousine paid entirely by us, and which remains the symbol of the immorality, greed, and vanity of the politicians we have been cursed with....

Oh that, and the photos of Chana Puri and his relatives with the Pope in our Reduit, and you and the monsters from la cuisine around the Pope, including a brother in law whose looks and incredible arrogance might give him a better career as a Bollywood villain than the one he has been playing so terribly during the last 5 years as a 'patriote'... "

And I added: " So, if Pravin Jugnauth stands any chance of winning the next elections, he will hold them in November or at the beginning of December at the latest. Forget the by election in number 7 where Anil Bachoo will give the MSM candidate, who looks like he has been badly stung by a mouche jaune, a real hiding.... Forget the little top up in the old age pension due to take place in January. Most people will grumble that it is not enough compared to what others got." Especially as now, Pravin Jugnauth has tried to con them with a pension of Rs 13,500 which will not happen, if it ever does, until 2024...

The reason why Pravin Jugnauth has decided to go for 7th November, even though it is right in the middle of the exams, is two fold:

1/ because he is shit scared that on the 15th November, there is every chance that the magistrates will throw out the last of the stupid charges that this government has laid against Navin Ramgoolam

2/ The novelty factor of the Metro, when Lepep Kouyon will break the Guinness Book of records for the number of selfies of stupidly grinning individuals having an orgasm in something built with their own money but which they will thank the ti cretin for....

I did warn that this November bribe of "Metro Gratis" for the whole month is a double edged sword: Those who managed to get on will have a hard on for quite a while. But many in the huge crowds that will turn up as soon as they hear the magical word "Gratis" will go away feeling quite frustrated, and will be saying " Nou figir pa passer nou! nou pa dan la cuisine nou!".

And Lepep Kouyon will grumble louder when they have to start paying from December, parski si fer sa gratis pou Novam, bien kapav fer sa gratis tou le tan, non? When you raise expectations to a quite ludicrous level in the search for any vote to buy, this is what will inevitably happen: You simply cannot buy everyone!

So, Pravin Jugnauth can only hope now that the project he and his father were so aggressively against in 2014 will turn out to be their manna from heaven in 2019...And banking on the possibility that Lepep Kouyon will suffer from amnesia in sufficient numbers, so that the biggest bunch of thieves and incompetent bastards in our history can squeeze through and find themselves elected again against all odds.

But I think there are enough people on this island who will say, "Once bitten, twice shy"...or, in the language that you lot enjoy me using, despite some gro trous pretending to be virgins and feeling offended, " Zot in bour nou ene kou bien kri kri! Asser! Faller nou trou in fer avek caoutchou pou nou re laisse zot bour nou enkor kumsa!"

Dimanche 6 Octobre 2019

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