[Paul Lismore] Our wonderful justice system in an island where all the institutions are controlled by a Ti Cretin, LaKwisinne, and the mafia surrounding them

Unfortunately, Montesquieu's famous saying of the 18th century has been vandalised by a psychopathic little dictator in Mauritius, where whatever democracy we used to have in the past has been replaced by a system governed by hoodlums and thieves.

These sociopaths have used their fraudulently obtained electoral majority to pass laws that have rapidly eroded the basic fundamentals of our democracy. These renegade laws and practices have bastardised our "democracy" to such an extent that another quote of Montesquieu has become our painful reality: "There is no crueler tyranny than that which is perpetuated under the shield of law and in the name of justice." The ICTA laws are but just one example of this insidious descent into tyranny.

But by far, the worst damage has been done to our police force where there is now an apparently unbridgeable distance between a police force supposedly in existence to help and protect us and most of the population. The only people who seem to like our police force as it is now are those who know their phone calls would be answered by a servile and obsequious officer saying " Oui missier/madame, mo avoy ene jeep toute suite la". 

This is a scenario that we often come across these days:

 1/Complainant, usually a member of that group known as nou bann : Missier gablou, guet ki li p dire lor moi! Diffamation criminel sa! Bizin poursuiv li!

Missier Gablou, after receiving orders depi la o : Pa pran traka. So dal pa pou cuit ar nou!
"Li" attends the police station and after a 'no comment' 'interview' lasting 45 minutes: "You are provisionally charged with sipaki. A nou al la cour!". Or, quite often, " Ayo tro tar pou fer interview la! Passe la nuit dan station. Dimin la cour".

2/ At Court :
The magistrate with all the pompousness and arrogance that seems to come so naturally to many of our zavokas, ziz, mazistras, listens to the obscenity known as the provisional charge, and probably in some pidgin English with loads of zis, zat, zoz (the last one always offends my friend George who gets annoyed when he thinks people are calling him...), announces with the mandatory pomposity and arrogance : " You can be released on bail provided you pay Rs 600 court fees, caution of Rs 25,000 and reconnaissance de dettes of Rs 200,000." 

You see, our lovely, gorgeous magistrates, zavokas, judges have never heard of release on unconditional bail until the next hearing. Oh no! Just releasing someone unconditionally might scratch the veneer of wisdom and authority that these smug individuals think they have in spades.

So, it does not matter what the stupid provisional charge is, it does not matter if you farted too loudly, or li ti guet moi avek lizier traver, or mo pa kontan so maniere, so facon li koz ar moi, or li dire moi ki Ramgoolam mari Jugnauth kan mo koner ki Jugnauth ki mari Ramgoolam, or ou le koir li fouy so nene kan mo ti kot li et li tire ene gro kk nene ki li met dan so moussoir, etc. If you are provisionally charged with anything, however trivial the charge might be, our learned, wonderful magistrates will always charge you money in order for you to regain your freedom. Why? Parski la loi sa! Kisan la ki in passe sa la loi la? Ban ki zot la cervelle dan zot ti graines...

3/ Institutions bien independantes!  

The procedure for the above cases applies only to people whose tongues are not stuck up the arses of our disgusting politicians, or who do not have someone who will call Dipshit ( or his junior puppets) and tell him either "Nou dimoune sa! Ene bon piti sa do, laisse li"  or " Kraz so graines, LKSM la! Pa nou bann sa!" And in this case, there is no chance of the case going to the DPP before any charges, if any, are formulated in months, if not years. This one is what is known as cuit vider en place, pena zes.

When nou bann is at the police station, this is what happens:

Zavoka Bulbul: Koumayer, missier gablou? tou korek? mo pran zis ene di sik dan mo di the, mo lor rezim la, parski mo bizin met mirroir en ba pou mo truv mo graines sitan mo vant gro.
Missier Gablou: Pena problem. Baja so so oussi avek so satini? ene 2 gato piman oussi et samosas dan sa la boutik dan coin la extra bon. 
Missier Gablou, trying to impress Bulbul and the nou bann: " Zis will be my plezir. I get zoz. Two secondes."

"Interview" starts and after 5 minutes, Bulbul declares with great authority " Ayo, nou viv dan ene etat de droit, b alor DPP ki bizin decide sa. Pa ena oken rezon pou provisional charge la. Mo client ene mari bon dimoune et tro misunderstood par ban antipatriotes!

Missier Gablou: Ou ena full rezon! Dayer, ban la o in fini dire moi ki zot in gagne boukou calls lor sa. Alor, Missier nou bann, nou bien sorry ki nou in deranz ou. Exkiz nou. Ene sans Missier Bulbul la pou montrer nou simin droite, simin la zistice"

That, my friends, is the reality of our justice system. Old, decrepit, corrupt with one benevolent eye on nou bann, and a vindictive, nasty eye on the rest of us. That is our etat de droit: where nasty, cruel laws are passed by zombies obeying a little cretin, and because we live in an "etat de droit", we are ordered to obey them..