[Paul Lismore] On this beautiful Sunday, please spare a thought for...

1/ Our zourlanus who feel compelled to qualify every police investigation as "d'arrache pied', and who feel obliged to tell us the names of every police officer involved in the investigation, including the one making tea for the others...Don't they know that Lepep Kouyon might interpret "d'arrache pied" as a new form of torture where the suspect's leg is cut off? Or where the suspect confesses after being submitted to "au feu roulant de questions", some people might think that arson is now being used as part of police investigations?

2/ Our trolls, who despite their mastery of monosyllabic words which are anyway misspelt, will still insist on flooding the comments sections of articles in newspapers with comments of such stupidity that the United Nations will soon classify those comments as a form of "cruel and unusual punishment"...What some people will do for a mine bouille avek 2 dizef roti, eh?

3/ Our poor members of the National Executive Committee/Bureau Politik of our major parties having to endure the non stop verbal diarrhoea of their leaders at least once a week during those 'press conferences', otherwise known as a long, boring monologue by someone suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder...And the sheer effort it takes them to force their facial muscles to express a reluctant laugh whenever the leader believes that he is a comedian...

4/ The dormant brains that must vegetate in the thick skulls of arseholes who believe that describing a 60 year old cretin as "jeune et dynamique" is a sign of original thinking and immense intelligence. Must be a terrible and cruel twist of fate for individuals to fantasise about someone like him when they are either playing with themselves or indulging in some jig jig...The poor pets! One can only hope that there is a bottle of Sherry on the bedside table, when disappointment inevitably hits them..

5/ People who cannot see through the artificial sweeteners used by "caring/sharing" idiots in order to present themselves as incredibly nice people...and the people who take the fake and self serving info and poisonous emails of those charlatans as the Gospel Truth...

6/ The poor pets always in the hunt for those elusive but much cherished 'like' that they believe will give some meaning to their miserable lives...and who spend all their waking hours trawling the net for any post/article that they think will satisfy their inexhaustible need for any attention...The poor pets...

7/ The thieving politicians who go to the temple, the Church, the mosque, etc, and shitting themselves at the thought that God knows they are lying thieves who delude themselves that attendance at places of worship when covered by a servile and useless press will somehow fool the people.

8/ The heads of our institutions, esp those holding constitutional posts, who in a pitiful display of cowardice, swap their autonomy guaranteed by the Constitution, with a little bone casually thrown to them by la cuisine...Which hole has the sense of shame and self respect of these people disappeared into?

9/ The gogotologues and sousoutologues, who rather self indulgently call themselves 'observateurs politiques', who batter us into mind numbing submission with their undisputed mastery of the obvious...But they think they are incredibly important because Nawaz NoBuzz likes them...

10/ Finally, please spare a thought for President Baigan who is now "en mission" in Rodrigues and therefore is neglecting his garden. Oh the sacrifices these people make pour la patrie! I really think he should award himself a GCSK, or whatever tin badge he believes will look good on his rather mediocre choice of suits...

So, please people! Enjoy your Glorious Sunday, but please spare a thought for those less fortunate than you...