Paul Lismore


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Lundi 21 Octobre 2019

So, after 58 years of gracing our lives with those teeth and phrases that compete with each other in terms of mundanity, shallowness, and outrageous hypocrisy, Pravin Jugnauth has finally discovered Ram, and gave us yesterday a boring monologue which was so lacking in subtlety and finesse that one got the impression that he wants us to see him as the real Ram and not the man who seems to obsess his mind 24 hours every day.

What next? Will his advisers now convince him that as he was born on 25th December 1961, our "jeune" Prime Minister is really the Second Coming of Jesus Christ?

Does the sand outside Maradiva or his other luxurious seaside bungalows trigger some delusional memory that this is the birthplace of Mohamed and therefore he speaks His language too? Is that why the Eid and Hindu festivals go on months after the event so that our lovely PM can eat as many brianis as possible and feel the hand of God on his shoulders?

Even when some socio cultural arsehole touches him to say, "Pran in p briani enkor, boss! Carri gro poi la extra, pran enkor!", he thinks it is God sending him a message?

Vreman il y a du bez dan ce ggt pays la! Ki zot pa pou fer pou kokin votes dimoune et pou res o pouvoir pou kontinier kokin, certaineman pou sey kokin votes ban idiots ki in blier tou scandales et ki enkor koir ki 'san foi la, li pou donne moi oussi mo bouttes! A nou tire nou foto avek li! Pa met flash la, tansion so ledan brile foto la, do! Mo pou met so foto dan mo salon et ene haar otour sa, in case li vine visit moi pendan sa canpagne la".

Is that what we Mauritians have been reduced to? Kill off our pride, any sense of honour that we may once have had, all our self respect in order to obtain that elusive 'boutte', which of necessity demands that you shove your tongue up the arse of any grotesque politician who feels patronising and condescending enough to even acknowledge your presence? B kot nou p aller dan sa ggt pays la? Res zis soucerre, parasites, idiots, et ban nimak haram dan sa ti ile la?

Of course, we have all heard stories about the love affair of our stupid politicians with the biggest bullshitters in the world: longanis, treters, batter cartes, and self appointed spokespersons of our deities, whether in saffron robes or in black or white ensembles, a la Gregoire, Disel Meeah, Dulthaidiot or his equally stupid and arse licking replacements, etc.

We know that SAJ often visits India, Malaysia to consult his bullshitters and one wonders what he tells them after he has lost heavily in an election, as in 1995 and 2005. Does he use his favourite language and tell them " Mo pisse lor zot! Zot ban demons"? Or does he meekly accept their bullshitting excuses, esp when they tell him "pa pran traka! Bon Dier pou beni ou prochaine foi..."?

The answer is, he still visits them and listens attentively to their bullshit, returns home and tells his chokra: "Ta, fer election lor sa zour la! Bon Dier pou beni meme ene ggt kouma toi! Aller, avan mo pisse lor toi la! Sarojini, kot mo carri poisson et mo farata? "

Of course, similar rumours of listening to bullshitters also apply to Navin Ramgoolam...but he is lucky he has in house bullshitters known as his advisers, and he does not have to sacrifice a coq pou fer plezir a gran dimoune la, because he feels compelled to always have a coq, of the Duval variety, with him...And now, he has two graines cerises to play with instead of the limons Rodrigues that the longanis always ask for, on top of a huge amount of money pou fer system la bien...A real Bummer, don't you think?

So, how do we, as a nation, put a stop to the poison being peddled by these socio cultural arseholes on behalf of whichever politician has promised them a 'boutte'? How do we get back our island so that people can live in peace and do not have to put up with the divisive tactics of politicians and their sociocultural soucerres? Or is it too late and has the rot set in and too many of us still hanker for any boutte that these bastards will condescendingly give us?

If you want to do anything worthwhile for your country, ask any of these hypocrites looking for your votes two simple questions:

1/ Will you put a stop to over Rs 100 millions of our money going to these socio cultural orgs? If people want to pray, why should the rest of us subsidise their beliefs or their faiths? If I start a religion tomorrow that demands that all gulab jamuns should be in the shape of a well endowed dick and all doughnuts must have a hole in the middle that vibrates when your tongue comes into contact with the jam, will you support me with taxpayers' money? No? Then, why do you give taxpayers' money to people who want to believe some quite outrageous things too?

2/ Will you stop attending organised socio cultural events and will you walk out when your leader :

1/ makes a political speech at those events 2/ your leader does not graciously refuse the invitation to turn a religious festival into a political one? No one is asking you to stop practising your religion, but do you have to do it so ostentatiously in public where it will inevitably turn into a political jamboree?

Finally, to get back to Pravin Jugnauth's discovery of Ram in his 58th year. When he talked about Ram "pa ti dilapide so pays", was that a rare admission that this is precisely what he and his thieving, corrupt government has been doing since 2014? 

The hypocrisy of the man is simply mind boggling. It has now reached the stage where the answer to "When does Pravin Jugnauth lie?" is inevitably "When his lips move". So many lies? Ena bez la! Which God is going to forgive him?

There are strong rumours that a pact with the Devil has once again been concocted by the man who tells us 'mo la main prop'. Apparently, the noises about a post electoral pact of MSM/MMM are getting louder, which again makes me ask the question:

Is there anything that our politicians won't do in order to see their bony arses on the back seat of a chauffeur driven limousine, paid entirely by you and I?

If that pact with the Devil becomes reality, then Berenger is just as bad as the other politicians. And, far from having la main prop, he is doing what all our politicians always do : Look after number 1 and fuck you all!

Lundi 21 Octobre 2019

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