[Paul Lismore] Missing (thank God) but not wanted

Dear Mrs Gode

Thank you for making most of us very happy by doing a very simple thing: Disappearing from view, instead of continually amerde nou fesse with your pseudo scientific garbage, and theories so far fetched and so outlandish that Martians will soon institute legal proceedings for Breach of Copyright against you.


You are a prime example of how our government's obsession with "experts" has once again made us feel good that the so called "experts" are nothing but self-glorified individuals who love peppering every sentence with a 'scientific' word which they hope will bamboozle a Lepep quite kouyon.

God knows how much we have had to suffer and tolerate so many Facebookers with their very strange and decidedly insane theories about Covid, but you have done nothing to make us more aware of the dangers that the virus poses to all of us: On the contrary, where everyone else was talking about the virus, you decided to tell us about a "souche"...

Many of us would also love to talk about "souche" and get a pay package of around Rs 200,000 every month as well as a limousine and all the other freebies that politicians in power love to give their friends, because they really believe that larzan taxpayers pou mari zot mama sa. 

I am afraid all that your "souche" has achieved  is to encourage snobs and ban ti kouyon gran nwar dire zot partner " Donne moi ene souche" when they want to experience the delights of oral sex....Seki bien gran nwar dire "Chouche", kouma dire gulab jamun or the tunnel of love la pou bien chaud...

You have been missing for quite a while now, and the truth is no one has missed you. Not even Jagutpal, who himself has to deal with a complaint from the donkeys in London Zoo that his voice sounds too much like their braying noises when they are in heat...

So, do us all a favour: You are already quite rich and you should therefore be ashamed to take the Rs 200,000+ from the taxpayers of an almost bankrupt island for a service that is quite frankly useless. You have done nothing to stop the onward march of the Covid virus and, like so many other charlatans, you believe that the use of a few "technical" words signify great and authoritative knowledge. They don't. 

You have become a figure of ridicule and scorn, and out of pity, I am asking you to do yourself a favour and go. You could do us a huge favour as a parting gesture and take Jagutpal, Zouberrrrr, Obeedoobeedoo, and the other ultra arrogant charlatans with you.

The Mauritian people and God will bless you if you could do that. Please.

We all wish you many hours of delightful "souche" in your retirement...