[Paul Lismore] IN THE ABSENCE OF LOGIC, ANY MASK WILL DO....

Vreman ena bez dan sa ggt pays la! Gouvernman dire ki tou dimoune bizin met masks kan sorti deor, kan dan bus, dan la ville, lor simin, kan p al travay. Bien bon, parski nou bizin fer tou possib pou enpesse sa virus la vine amerde nou chalis.

Mai, mari morma! To dire nou met masks, mai to pa dire nou ki standard masks la bizin eter? Alor, ninporte ki boutte linz nou met lor nou la guele, sa pou korek pou nou pa paye lamende up to Rs 50,000 et al kont bars pou up to 2 years? Ki kalite bobok p roule sa pays la? ene sinp ti zafer kumsa, sa oussi zot pa konne fer bien?

As no standards have been prescribed or gazetted, and the only requirement is that you wear a facial mask, here are some possibilities that some of you may consider seriously...

1/ If you are the type who loves to show the world how much you love your wife/girlfriend/mistress, wear a nice pair of her frilly knickers on your face in public. That is the best way to show the world how much you love the scent of the woman you keep telling us you love so much.

2/ If you are a woman who can't wait to tell the whole world how much you love your husband/ lover/ gallan, wear an old pair of his Y fronts over your face and try to look 'superior' to those who are single. But be careful! Please choose one old pair of his Y fronts that preferably does not contain lots of weird stains, ok? 

3/ If you are single and can't be arsed to share your life with someone who will take every opportunity to pry into your private world, then the world is truly your oyster. You can wear

   a/ a Mickey Mouse mask that is apparently quite popular at parties and during some festivals. Make Mickey Mouse an all year round celebration!

    b/ Transfer the image of a very hairy pussy on a piece of cloth, wear it as a mask, and if the gablous asks you a stupid question, tell him that it is your beard and it has grown very long during the confinement...esp as the barber shop has been closed for months now.

    c/ If you love the food of angels, a beautiful satini bomli griller, dip a piece of cloth into it, and wear the cloth as your mask in public. But careful! Some men who adopt the technique in (1) above will say that their masks give them the same smell of satini bomli griller! 

     d/ if none of the above fits your particular requirements, then simply wrap a cloth around your face and either go and rob a bank or tell the gablou that this is your mask. 

The above is written in jest obviously, but you see my point? If no standards have been set by the government re the wearing of masks, if there are no prescribed masks that will help to prevent you from catching the virus, if the figures issued by the government are true and that no one has been infected by the virus for over 3 weeks...then the absence of logic in this government order leaves the way clear for you to wear anything you want as a facial mask. Anything.

Facial masks have become the symbol of a government where clear thinking is tragically absent. Rs 50,000 fine and a prison sentence of up to 2 years for not wearing any 'mask' means that you would be silly not to try any of the above 4 solutions. 

But if you really want to please the gablous, wear a mask with the figure of someone they hate superimposed on it: an image of the Marionette leading them. If you do this, no self respecting gablous pou servi ou papier! Garanti sa!