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Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] IF YOU HAVE TEARS, PREPARE TO SHED THEM FOR THE MISSIONAIRES...


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Samedi 28 Mars 2020



The poor pets! Not only have they had to abandon their hopes and wishes of seeing their fat arses ensconced in a Business Class seat, and seen their dreams of looking important vanish faster than Ivan Collendavelloo's somnolent face from our TV screens.

Not only have they lost the erections they used to have when bragging to everyone " Mo p al en mission", as if catching a flight when someone else is paying for it is something to brag about....

The poor pets have also lost their sacred per diem, that vast amount of taxpayers' money that inevitably ends up in the pockets of the arseholes on this island. B kot nou p aller dan sa pays la kot nou ban serviteurs du pays perdi zot zoli baksheesh la kumsa? 

I think all these missionaires should hold a demonstration in front of the National Assembly and scream "Pa tousse nou bousser manzer! Nou per diem, nou la vi sa! Ar nou non!".

The problem is, they can't really threaten to go on strike, because if they do, no one will notice their absence, as they do sweet fuck all when they are on duty anyway....apart from their wives and husbands who will be so fed up with their presence at home that they will scream at them" Ta! Bez to fesse al travay!"

Of course, the people who are most relieved that the coronavirus has stopped all these stupid and pointless missions are the friends and relatives of the missionaires: They will no longer have to suffer the presence of these arseholes in their homes abroad, and listen to them telling tales about how important they are. 

For those who don't know, per diem is a sum of money ( a very substantial amount in many cases...) to compensate the expenses re accommodation, food, and other expenses whilst on mission...Except that these missionaires refuse to go into hotels, and much prefer the settees or spare rooms of their relatives abroad, so that the full per diem goes straight into their pockets.

One of the very few advantages of coronavirus is that it has allowed our serviteurs du pays to know the delights of WhatsApp, Skype etc for conference calls, and emails as a more than sufficient means of communication. But I am afraid old habits die hard, esp when it comes to easy money.

Once the coronavirus scare is over and life gets back to normal, the missionaires would be queuing outside the PMO and finding a convenient arsehole to stick their tongue into, so that their name is on the next list of missionaires...Many people will think that such a long queue must mean that the PMO has a stock of bonbonne gaz, and that the PM is now an agent of Shell....

In the meantime, they will all tell us to behave like 'patriots' from the comfort of their palaces, whilst imbibing from the numerous bottles of duty free alcohol bought from previous missions...and still enjoying a whole list of hugely immoral privileges like entertainment allowance, petrol allowance, etc.


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