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Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] I protest !


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Dimanche 5 Février 2023

I PROTEST!



[Paul Lismore] I protest !
On his way to court, Santokoki hears someone shout, " Baja, samoussa, gato brinzel chaud chaud!"

Santokoki stares at the man and says, " I protest! According to the rules of evidence, eski ou ena ene thermometre pou dire moi kommien chaud sa ete? Et pa apel moi baja, ok? I protest! Kifer ou p krier "gato brinzel" kan fek la, ban etidiants ingrats ti p sikane sa zoli sandwich brinzel douri ki nou bien bon gouvernman in donne zot? I protest lor sa oussi."

The cake seller mutters under his breath, " Met to "I protest" dan to tonkin, mo bien ferfoute ar toi!".
Santokoki comes across a taxi rank where many drivers ask him, " Taxi, missier"? "I protest!", reponne Santokoki! " Ki taxi? Ou pa kone ki nou sexy Premier Ministre in dire ki nou bizin fer lexercice? Alor, laisse mo marse!" One taximan says to his friends, "Laisse li marse, ggt la! Sirtou kan li marse mai guet par derrier, Possib li pou bez ar sa kolonne la..."

Santokoki reaches court and the duty gablou salutes him. "I protest! Pa moi sa, kifer ou p leve la main ar moi?"

Santokoki enters court, sits down by himself. Enters the magistrate, and someone officious shouts " Stand up! Court in session!". Santokoki p bien amerde la et li krier, " I protest! Ki ou ete pou donne moi lordre diboute? Ou konne moi kisan la? Mo sorti depi biro DPP moi!". 

Gablou at the back of the court looks at his friend, drops one rupee on the floor and says quietly, " ene la monnai zete sa!"

The hearing starts and all throughout, Santokoki keeps saying " I protest!" Even the magistrate, a rather quiet , inoffensive soul, loses patience and shouts " Kifer to protest a tou zafer, toi? Kan ene madame dire toi " A nou fer ene ti gatee, la oussi to pou krier " I protest"? Assiz toi et res trankil! Ou kouma Morisiens kontan dire, aret kozer zis pou to enpesse to la guele senti pi!"

You can guess what Santokoki says in reply...Yes, " I protest! Mo la guele pa senti pi, li", which again highlights his uncanny aptitude to miss the whole point...

In the meantime, the longest bail hearing in my memory continues, punctuated by an idiot continually loving the sound of his voice when he keeps repeating " I protest!".

Now, if only there was any credible evidence against the accused, Santokoki whispers to himself...Not even a jhant, I am afraid.. Even grandmothers are fed up with all this " I protest" shit..

Dimanche 5 Février 2023

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