Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] How to pitch properly and plant in other people's houses

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Jeudi 18 Mai 2023

[Paul Lismore] How to pitch properly and plant in other people's houses
"Pitch" is defined as an action " to cause to move swiftly through space by a propulsive movement or a propelling force," pitch suggests throwing carefully at a target. The target can be anything, but preferably inside the house of an opponent of the government...

The target is identified well in advance, especially when there is an urgent need to divert the attention from any thieving bastard in the government caught with his hand in dirty money. Some of you may possibly refer to the Grand Bassin very unholy episode when an AG with a real la guele vier sousoute rather mysteriously found a zourlanus willing to open hers whilst feasting on some juicy steaks..To each their own, I say, as in the expression "sak boutte dipin rassi bizin gagne so boutte fromaz moizi"....

But let us get back to the action known as "to pitch", especially when gardening. It would be useful if you had someone called Karen or Caren, to give it its rightful Mauritian connotation, to help you prepare the ground swiftly in your planting exercise. When Pitch and Karen (or Caren) get together, the results are instantaneous, and some pathetic zourlanus will immediately scream "Breaking News!" followed by their ever so boring "Joli coup de filet!" Why boring? Because lepep admirab kone ki  FSL pou dire " pa la drogue sa, et sorry, pena oken fingerprint or DNA lor sa". 

But the damage has been done, especially when zourlanus unquestioningly accept all the piss of lies poured down their throats by the Head gardener at the Specialist Planting Department of Casernes Agricultural Centre.  Services. Reputations have been damaged and sullied, a little army of absolute idiots will go online to write the most insipid nonsense imaginable on the orders of some slut in Vacoas, and people's lives have been destroyed because of the superlative pitching skills of an idiot born to always obey orders as his brain cannot function by itself....

Pitch and Karen, or Carren....Please don't infer from this that I am referring to a member of the Special Shit Team called Pitchacaren. Oh no! Look at his photo, and you can immediately tell that this is a law abiding citizen with no planting skills whatsoever, and who would never assault anyone, despite being formally accused of assault by someone who had fresh herbs planted at his girlfriend's house....

"Loyally we serve", the Casernes Agricultural Centre proudly displays on its wall. The question is: Who do they serve? You, me, the rest of the population? Or the thieves in government and their maalkin in Vacoas....

This is Pitchacaren of the SST, or S Te te, as Taslimah Valayden called it. Although he does look like a planter, mo sire ki li pa kone ki kan plante, servi pioches et pa knife and fork...ou matrak

Jeudi 18 Mai 2023

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