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Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] How Covid saved the day for many shysters ...


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Mercredi 14 Avril 2021



Definition of "shyster": " A shyster is someone who might rip you off or do something unethical in order to get his way. ... The word comes from the German "Scheisser", which is a vulgar term for “worthless person.” Although it contains the word shy, it actually sounds more like heist, which makes sense, since shysters are basically trying to rob you."

1/ Various owners of quincailleries, bijoutiers, owners of hotels of ill repute, an ex VIPSU now converted into a fishmonger and unexplained visitor to Wakashio, ex air hostesses, a Mr and Mrs team of fraudsters who fall ill on command esp when due to give evidence in court, etc. Out of nowhere, these individuals have become multimillionaires simply because the so-called High Level Committee, chaired by le jeune, dynamique, et tres kouyon Premier Ministre, gave them the keys to Ali Baba's  cave, also known as the State Trading Corporation (STC).

2/ The ex CEO of STC, closely related to the assorted shysters in the previous para, and who happily gave one billion rupees of our money as a 'loan' to the shysters. Since confinement, no one talks about him or even remembers his name.

3/ Yogida, also known as Emmentaler due to the extra large holes in his brain, no longer has to attend the two main cases where he is the star witness/accused: the private prosecution in Port Louis and the Judicial inquiry at Moka. Such a pity as he was getting so used to being in the box specially reserved for the accused. Confinement has been exceedingly good for the one whose brain resembles the Swiss Cheese Emmentaler so much....

4/ Jangi, our dear Clouseau, who now, because of confinement, has all the time in the world to do what he does best: fuck all. Yes, our Clouseau now can legitimately say that "mo p enkor etidier dossier Yogida, mai confinement fer travay la difficile"....

5/ The chuttur ka mou in charge of ICAC, Mr etudiant des dossiers mai ki fail lexamen sak foi: He will continue to hoodwink Lepep Kouyon with a few arrests of insignificant people, confiscation of big cars that only idiots would buy, and will continue to sip champagne with the big thieves...as usual.

6/ Our lovely Attorney General, despite so la guele kouma vier sousoute, who was due to attend court because of the incredibly bad and inhumane ill treatment of dogs placed in his care. Mai confinement in retreci so vier sousoute, alor no court appearance...

7/ Our lovely Judges, esp our Chief Judge who is never seen or heard...The electoral petitions submitted in December 2019 can R.I.P. as long as we have confinement...At this rate, the petitions will be heard by the next chief Judge just before the elections of 2029....Only fools will continue to insist that we have a 'free and independent  judiciary' or that we have the best judicial system in Africa, esp when similar petitions in Africa are dealt with within 6 months at most...

8/ Le jeune et dynamique et tres kuyon Pravind Kumar Jugnauth: Confinement has been wonderful for him. It has allowed him to

   a/ Hide away from us more often than he used to. No more religious gatherings, so no more stupid curtains over his shoulders whilst he make political speeches that send God to sleep.
    b/ Confinement has allowed him to place the leaders of the two main opposition parties, Boolell and Berenger, under technical House Arrest. They and Bhagwan can't attend the National Assembly until the next elections, and confinement has allowed the ti cretin to refuse to give them WAPs, which means they can only go out on Mondays and Tuesdays.
     c/ There was a very good chance that Pravind's expertise as Clouseau would have been tested in court so that he could justify his findings that Yogida, ene mam sa, li korek li. Confinement has ensured that he can stay comfortably and safely in lAngussorma road....

9/ Ban gro supermarkets, la boutik, grossistes ki in bien exploite misere dimoune lor prix exorbitan ki zot in inpoz lor nou. Mo esperer tou sa larzan profit malprop la fer zot kk sorti kouma bloc lakaz depi zot 40!

10/ Covid 19 has been a disaster for the Avengers team: No more daily press conferences under the pied badamier outside court where all the zavokas are together and doing an excellent job exposing the thieves and the shysters.. They are now a disparate group doing their own videos, and competing with each other in the following categories:

    a/ Who makes the most stupid and irritating videos due to an incurable addiction to grab any attention...
     b/ Who makes the longest videos in an effort to test our stamina. Quite a few love to pontificate for well over one hour, and I don't know anyone who would wish to waste one hour of their days watching gargantuan egos on display...
    c/ Who makes the most informative videos? Pride of place must here go to Rouben Mooroongapillay for being the first to disclose relevant information about Patient Zero. And to Roshi Bhadain for clearly explaining in 15 minutes what others will ramble on for 1 hour.

As you can see, Covid 19 has been excellent news for the thieves and the shysters. They have never had it so good!

Mercredi 14 Avril 2021

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