Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Mercredi 1 Janvier 2020

Remember! " A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other." "May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's Day resolutions"...Joey Adams.

Thank you to everyone who has wished me a Happy New Year. Those feelings are hereby reciprocated, and I wish you all a wonderful 2020.

Right, now that the traditional but quite meaningless annual wish is out of the way, let me get back to reality and to Paradise Island, where our wishes for a decent government which does even the basic minimum required to show real accountability, restraint, and decency have remained unfulfilled for decades now.

Every general election brings forward a group of mercenary, selfish, thoroughly immoral bastards to take over our island with our blessing, and who immediately start to believe that our votes can automatically be considered as a transfer of ownership of the island and its assets from its citizens to the mari mama of the newly elected.

And at the end of every year, we keep making new, fanciful, hopelessly imaginative resolutions about the next year, and we renew our hopes that God will bless this island. Unfortunately, God seems incapable to do even the most mundane task, for example zapping out of their miserable existence the contemptible oiks who desecrate places of worship, the savages who beat up the elderly and often their own parents, the thick bullies who test their manliness with the number of alcoholic drinks they can gulp down and then proceed to batter their wives/concubines as if it is their God given right to do so...

It would seem that the adolescent competition of "who has the biggest cock?" has now been turned into a nasty, psychopathic game of "kisanla so Bon Dier ki pli for?", where the participants are invariably dressed in the medieval, funereal, sepulchral robes of the Dark Ages, and who believe that closeness to God can only be manifested by the loud recitation of 4 or 5 rather meaningless phrases whilst causing as much damage as they can to another individual or to the beliefs that he happens to espouse. How stupid is that?

And the whole thing is then either ignored by possibly the worst zourlanus on earth who are apparently too busy to tell us how many petards have been sold, or the fanatical cretins will be given a platform by zourlanus only too happy to let the moronic bastards waffling on and on about the alleged superiority of their religion...

But anyway, enough about the dangerous buffoons who plague this gorgeous island with their racist and fanatical filth. Too many people have died because of road accidents this year, and if God really does exist, I shall beseech Him/Her to ensure that next year's lot of hapless victims contains at least a dozen of those cretinous troglodytes...

What does 2020 hold for Paradise Island?

I am afraid it is going to be more of the same. Our national debt will keep on increasing, ministers' stupidity, greed, and selfishness will grow apace with the fresh 5 year licence they took from us by hook and mostly by crook, more and more money will be stolen by the serviteurs du pays, ICAC led by the egomaniac with a chuttur ka mou will continue to guet figir before deciding whether to investigate or not, some idiot or other will be voted African minister of finance which will embolden him to fill his pockets even more, Transparency International will again rate us as the cleanest country in Africa based on figures submitted by a moron, the institutions that we are exhorted to respect will continue to exist in a time warp where doing the minimum possible constitutes a hard day's work, ministers and their equally pompous and useless 'advisers' will bring their zombies to ecstasy and orgasmic fulfilment with posts on FB that defy even the basics of grammatical construction or humility or common sense, Super Mario will continue to polish his buttons for the next police parade and learn to salute ministers with even more ardent loyalty and sycophancy than he has done so far ....

And if you think that God really exists whilst callously continuing to inflict upon us possibly the worst politicians in government and in opposition ever, instead of doing the Godly thing and throwing a bolt of lightning on those cretins as soon as they open their mouths, think again!

They will continue to provide us with the living proof that when it comes to hypocrisy, stupidity, cupidity, arrogance, and having a big mouth that talks rubbish non stop,they can easily compete with the worst in the world.

So, my dear people, have a happy New Year. Despite our miraculously low official inflation figures based on data from Mars, the prices of everything will rise again.

On the safe side, do stock up on KY Jelly please...because the ride with this government is going to be very painful for all those who refuse to plisse pom de terre dan la cuisine.

Mercredi 1 Janvier 2020

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