Paul Lismore

[Paul Lismore] HAPPY NEW YEAR TO

Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Jeudi 31 Décembre 2020

1/ All the decent, honest people of Mauritius. Yes, your numbers are decreasing every year, but you deserve the best of times in 2021.

2/ All the roder bouttes, whose numbers have increased alarmingly in the last six years. May the bouttes that you shamelessly look for turn out to be bouttes kk...

3/ All the soucerres who show their terrible sense of taste by wearing green jackets over their fat stomach, and carrying sabres plastik. Hope 2021 brings you more insults and a few well deserved slaps.

4/ All the 'patriotes', the serviteurs du pays who commit illegal acts in order to please She Who Must Be Obeyed in la cuisine. May the faratas that she serves you are laced with enough cyanide or rat poison to make you vomit your guts....

5/ All the zourlanus who talk about deontolozi and ethics without having any clue what those words mean. We will all experience "un ouf de soulagement" the day you understand what real journalism means.

6/ All the gogotologues/sousoutologues who call themselves "observateurs politiques" but who are nothing more than masters of the obvious at best, and shameless copy/pasters at worst. May you choke on the free bottles of cheap whisky that Radio Minus, Wazaa, and Insane News will give you. MorpION News is in a class of its own, so I doubt whether it will give you even the skin of their turds....

7/ All the idiots who believe that repeating "gouverner autrement" ten times a day will convince us to vote for you. You are and you will remain ambitious little toerags whose ambition is simply to benefit from all the insane privileges that those you seek to replace currently enjoy, and which you now pretend to condemn.

8/ All our serviteurs du pays currently enjoying 5* star food in a National Assembly which serves nothing more than the arena where you show how stupid you really are by voicing your undying love for your cretinous leaders...May you choke on your lobster, and may a crab's claw pinch you where your brains are located, i.e. between your thighs.

9/ All the ex air hostesses, failed zavokas, failed zourlanus currently looking all important in their mercenary roles as ''advisers". May you learn to iron your own lamoresse instead of spending your time ensuring that the lamoresses of your bosses are well ironed.

10/ Last and certainly least, the bhai lookhes of our secret police, ICAC, various macros of our political parties....and the Attorney General with la guele vier sousoute. Continually spending your time looking through peepholes or the curtains of the private lives of citizens will turn you into worse perverts than you already are. Ask yourselves this question: Do you really want to end up looking like Manish Gobin?

Happy New Year to all the nice, sincere, decent people of what used to be Paradise Island. Have a wonderful time drinking, eating, dancing, shagging, etc...But spare a few seconds to think of the increasing number of people who will see New Year's Day as simply just another day in their sadly miserable lives. Their misery never ends, unfortunately.

Jeudi 31 Décembre 2020

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