Paul Lismore


Rédigé par Paul Lismore le Mercredi 18 Mars 2020

"The secret of being boring is to say everything." -Voltaire

And le jeune Pravind Jugnauth has been saying everything for quite a while now...According to the 58 year old "jeune" Pravind Kumar Jugnauth, an " anti patriote" is someone who:

a/ says anything against him, even when the words reflect the truth and the reality. In his mind, any comments against him are nothing but lese majeste, and the Royal Kingdom of the Jugs will simply not tolerate this....

b/ says anything against his ministers, even when the words describe their incompetence and stupidity with great accuracy.

c/ does not recognise the value of the numerous 'bijou' he has built with our money and at such great expense. Even when the turf of Stade Georges V looks more suitable for the plantation of water cress than for playing football after squandering almost Rs 100 millions of our money on it, zis ban anti patriots ki pou critik sa!

d/ does not recognise his incredible leadership skills, esp during the past week where his silence over the coronavirus scare has been misinterpreted as incompetence, and not as the ideal opportunity for him to do something new for him, also known as deep thinking and critical analysis....

e/ complains all the time about his nominations of absolute idiots and arseholes to posts where the huge salaries and expenses are paid for entirely by us.

f/ does not realise or appreciate the amazing and stupendously superb qualities of nominees like Dulthaidiot and the other serviteurs du pays who can now live happily and at our expense for the next five years.

g/ does not understand that the enormous efforts to undertake the responsibilities of Prime Minister deserve at least Rs 600,000+ per month, plus a per diem rate for himself which he himself decides. So, Rs 30-35,000 a day when he is on mission and slaving away for us is a pittance! Real patriots understand this....

h/ insults the chief zombie in our society, the marionette in charge of our police, and who obeys like a faithful little dog every order given to him by the Great One.

i/ insults judges and magistrates for consistently having the good judgement to find in favour of the government. 

j/ mocks the imperial Navin Beekarry, ICAC supremo, because the man likes to 'etidier dossiers' first before finding a comfortable place for them in a dusty old drawer.

k/ mocks most of the nominees to our para statal orgs, when they should be praised for being so dynamic, innovative, and blessed with an uncanny intelligence...

l/ mocks his agent in chief, the loud Speaker in the National Assembly, who is a wonderful man who loves and looks after children in his spare moments. 

m/ Does not show any respect to SAJ who, lest we forget, was prepared to piss on us when there was a shortage of water, the rain had not fallen for many months, and people were dying of thirst. Apprecier sacrifice bolom la, ban anti patriotes!

n/ Does not appreciate the effort undertaken by le jeune Premier Ministre when he was belo puri at Grand Bassin. Ban anti patriotes bien ingrats!

0/ Does not join the burst of applause that greeted le jeune Pravind when he walked all the way to Grand Bassin. Ban ingrats! Li meme premier dimoune, et ziska ler sel dimoune dan Maurice ki in marser al Grand Bassin! Thank God the zourlanus were there to record with their mobile phones every step that he took, every sip of water, every wipe of his sweaty face! 

p/ Does not recognise the enormous work put in by our zourlanus in finding new and imaginative ways to lick his arse. Some of them are already thinking of putting a hidden camera in the toilets to record for our benefit every time he has a dump....

q/ Continually goes on and on about our enormous debt. Ki problem? Zot pou fini mort avan ressi renbourse sa, alor arete plaigner ban anti patriotes!

r/ Does not recognise the value of an excellent kitchen in the home. Even anti patriotes must know that it is dan la cuisine ki ban gran decisions pran dan tou lakaz! 

s/ Mocks la cuisine all the time. All democracies have a shadow cabinet kot ban anti patriotes dan lopposition konploter kont gouvernman. Why shouldn't I have my own special shadow cabinet dan mo la cuisine? Sirtou kan Lady Macbeth la pou fer sire ki zepices la in rant bien partou....

t/ Refuses to acknowledge the imaginative and novel tactics used to "win" the last general elections. When Rishi Sunak (pa Soornack, do! Guet ki fraka li p fer ar Italy avek sa coronavirus la...), the UK Chancellor of the Exchequer said 2 days ago, " We will do whatever it takes", he was copying our jeune Prime Minister who did whatever it took to win the elections....By hook or by crook, the anti patriotes will say.

u/ Refuses to acknowledge the grand humanity and decency of le jeune Pravind Jugnauth. Just one example: When Tarolah showed the world his little shrimp from the benches of our "August" National Assembly, Pravind Jugnauth did nothing, presumably because he felt that sometimes, even little bits of us need some fresh air....

v/ Does not understand all the fuss over Vijaya Sunpat, or Choomka's rather nicely increased salaries. ICAC p investigate, zot pa konpran, ban anti patriotes? In gagne zis 2 ans, et Beekarry bizin etidier dossiers la bien, non?

w/ Carps all the time! Anti patriotes nek kritiker! SBM in perdi par milliards, so what? Fek nomme ene boug extraordiner ki kontan apel moi "Boss" pou pran sarz SBM. Guet kouma li vire kont en ba la o, kom ene vrai accuntant....

x/ Mocks the number of times le jeune Pravind Kumar Jugnauth servi "Evidaman" et " Bien sure" dan preske sak fraz. Ban antipatriotes! Evidaman, in ler pou nou gran hero fer zot konner sak foi li in al kk, et si li largue ene bien gro, bien sure li pou fer zot koner!

y/ Pours derision on his claim to be a family man. Ban anti patriotes! Li pa Navin Ramgoolam li, ki rant dan ninporte ki trou ki paret divan li! Nou jeune Premier Ministre prefer boir ene ti sherry et guet tamassa, li. Li laisse Ivan et lezot ministres rant dan trou, li....

z/ Sikane Lady Macbeth tou le tan. Eoula! Zot koir ki li facile pou ene madame roule MBC, Service Civil, kontrol nou institutions, decider lor tou nominations/promotions etc? Ki zot problem si li tap ene ti Sherry kan li p servi nou pays 24/24, Raat aur din, asoir, lizour? So ti larmee ban witches/apprentice witches la pou support Lady Macbeth tou le tan, mo fer zot koner. Ban ingrats!

That, my friends, is the definition of an anti patriote, according to our Prime Minister. Ban vrai patriotes apprecier tou seki li fer, parski zot koner ki Bon Dier in beni li....

Mercredi 18 Mars 2020

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