[Paul Lismore] ASK, AND PERE NOEL PRAVIN SHALL GIVE YOU...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. You all know the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus tells his followers "Ask, and it will be given to you".

A rational interpretation of this is that what we ask for must be good in God’s estimation. God will give advantageous gifts to His children; He will not give us bad or injurious things, no matter how much we clamour for them.He most certainly would not lumber you with a huge amount of debts and then continue to give us more, however much you might want those freebies. Because he knows these are not freebies and that you, your children, and your grandchildren will have to eventually pay for all those toxic 'gifts'.
Tomorrow will be the occasion for the once yearly, show biz charade of pompous, arrogant, hugely selfish and unpatriotic individuals promising us all the earth in order to con the gullible and the desperate into voting for them.

Millions of rupees would be wasted on this terribly immoral Bonfire of the Vanities, money which none of them would even consider using in order to build much needed homes for those surviving in inhumane conditions; or to alleviate the terrible poverty of so many of our citizens.
Centre stage tomorrow will be a toothy gnome who has magically become our Prime Minister, and therefore the man who holds our purse strings in his little hands.

He will provide a Lepep Kouyon with the most glaring example of how it is really a Lepep Kouyon which still believes that when Prime Ministers say " Mo pou fer sa, mo pou donne ou sa", they see that as proof of a kind and generous man willing to give us so many freebies out of the goodness of his heart.

Very few of Lepep Kouyon will understand that he is in fact giving you sweet fuck all from his own very deep pockets, but that every 'freebie', every extravagance will come directly from your own pockets. And as our pockets have been empty for a long time, he will borrow yet even more money in your name, and give you the things that this island simply cannot afford, which he will then say "Moi ki in donne zot sa!".

Do the maths people! If we as a nation already owe well over Rs 300 billions, how do you think he is going to fund all those extravagant things, if not by borrowing more and more in YOUR name?
So, we will have our peculiar Mauritian version of the Sermon on the Mount tomorrow, and until the next elections. A bullshitter with a kalchoul la cuisine dan so fesse, will promise you the world and will give you anything that you ask for before Polling day. The PRB report which is not due to be published until 2020/21 will instead be published this year, in time for 100,000 civil servants to get a good increase and a massive back pay, which all helps towards many idiots putting a cross against the name of the bullshitter on the ballot paper who has given them this manna from heaven well before Xmas.

Of course, some corrupt syndikalis who has never done a day's proper work in his life but who is so loved by our zourlanus that everything that he says, however stupid, is transmitted to us by our 'free and independent" media, has asked for the PRB to be brought forward...and what he asks in this year of the elections, Pere Noel Pravin will give!
The old age pension will be substantially increased, which in itself is not a bad thing. But do super rich and even fairly rich people really need the state pension? Or isn't that simply greed and avarice of the worst possible kind?

Mauritius is also the only country in the world that allows 60 year old Civil Servants to draw their old age state pension whilst still working and earning a full salary together with all the insane privileges (known as droits from the Ah Kee shop...), until they reach 65 and beyond.. Here still, many of the toothless, gummy ones will praise Pere Noel Pravin for his generosity which their own grandchildren will have to reimburse, and vote for him...
Now, we come to an extremely poor man, so poor that he cheated the MRA out of nearly Rs 8 millions when rather imaginatively obtaining a £ 150,000 top of the range Mercedes...Of course, our wonderful magistrate found a magisterial legal legerdemain to exonerate him. Still, I am sure if he gets fed up with his Mercedes, the no less expensive Bentley that he likes to show off will assuage his furrowed brow...

Anyway, this is the chap who scarpered from Palmar Ltd without refunding his loyal, hardworking staff even one cent. But don't worry! Pere Noel Pravin has charged to the rescue and refunded all HIS workers with YOUR money. And no one says anything about this! Yes, the workers deserve every cent of what they are getting, but that money should have come from Thierry Lagesse, the owner of Palmar, and no one else! He can't really say that he cannot spare a little change for his loyal workers from the billions of rupees that he possesses, surely?
So people, form an orderly queue for Pere Noel Pravin now. Whatever you ask, you will get! Larzan la pou mari sorma sa, alor li kapav fer seki li envi! This opportunity comes only once every five years!

This time, this Prime Minister will be much more generous than all previous ones. Why? Because la cuisine knows that if he loses, mari bez lor ban Jugs and all the soucerres. It really will be the end for that immensely corrupt family and its little army of parasites and hangers on.
Remember, only people who will vote will get to see Pere Noel Pravind. The homeless, the desperately poor will miss out as they are unlikely to vote, so politicians will not be interested in them at all.

Those who are lucky enough to obtain the 'freebies' will blame the wretched of the earth for being too busy trying to find the money for their next meal, instead of copying them and doing what they can to make themselves noticed by Pere Noel...